Page 14 of The Greatest Gift

Normally, I’d play into their teasing but not tonight. My head is too much of a mess. “Hey,” I say, trying to sound normal as I kick off my shoes. “Thanks for watching her. I had a great night. Took an Uber back, so… yeah.”

Jess looks at me curiously, her brow furrowed. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.” I force a smile. “I’m gonna crash.”

Athena gives me a look, one of those piercing sibling looks that says she knows I’m lying but won’t press me on it. “Okay,” she says. “Good night, Judd.”

I help them clean the living room a bit, hugging them tight as they leave. Neither one asks any questions, of which I’m thankful. Stumbling toward my room, I strip off my clothes the moment the bedroom door is closed and stuff myself in the shower.

My mind is racing, a mess of emotions I don’t know how to deal with. I keep telling myself it was just the alcohol, that it didn’t mean anything. But that’s a lie. My heart is still pounding, and I can still feel Nakul’s lips on mine, his hands on my skin. The memory is vivid, too vivid, and it sends a fresh wave of confusion crashing over me.

What the hell am I doing?

I find my hand on my cock, still stiff and crying out for release. It twitches against my palm as I give it a languid stroke, my mind filling with Nakul’s dark brown eyes. The ghost of his touch lingers as I continue to stroke myself, my head thrown back as I imagine his lips around my length.

This is no longer the alcohol.

I can’t blame this desire on anyone other than myself as I come with Nakul’s name on my lips.

I’m not sure I’m ready to face that yet. Not after everything with Ava. Not after the mess my life has been.

For now, I’ll let the water drown out the noise, at least for a little while.

Nakul

I rake my hands through my hair for what feels like the hundredth time Sunday morning. The strands fall right back into my face, but I don’t care. It gives me something to focus on, something to do other than replaying every second of Friday night in my head. The way Judd’s lips felt against mine. The warmth of his skin under my fingers. The small, breathy noises he made that I can still hear if I let myself linger too long.

Goddamn it.

Why did I do that? What the hell was I thinking?

I work at hismother’s company, for fucksake. Judd’s got a kid. Afamily. I shouldn’t even be in his orbit, let alone tangling myself into his life like this. It’s messy, reckless,stupid. But no matter how hard I try to convince myself of that, I can’t stop thinking about him. The way his cheeks flushed when I kissed him. The way he looked at me afterward, like I was something he couldn’t quite understand.

I’ve never thought about a man like this before. Never felt this all-consuming pull. But with Judd? It’s like my body has decided he’s mine, and my mind is just along for the ride, trying to keep up.

The rest of the weekend was a disaster. I tossed and turned at night, unable to sleep. My conversations with Judd—so easy, so natural before—turned awkward and stilted. I tried to keep things light, to send him texts about mundane things, but his responses grew shorter and less frequent until they stopped altogether.

By Sunday evening, I feel like I am unraveling. Did I read the signs wrong? Did he regret it? Or worse, did I push him into something he didn’t want?

My stomach twists every time I think about it, but I know what I felt. That kiss wasn’t one-sided. The way he kissed me back, the way he held onto me—it was real.

But now… maybe I’ve ruined whatever we had building. And for what? A moment of weakness? A need I couldn’t keep in check?

I can’t keep pacing the tiny motel room, so I head out to explore Windsor Creek. The shops downtown are decked out for the holidays, all twinkling lights and garlands. It’s charming, in that small-town kind of way, but it doesn’t help much. I pick up a few Christmas gifts for some friends back home, trying to distract myself, but it only half-works.

I catch myself wandering into the toy section of a store, thinking about Stevie. I see a soft plush elephant and imagine her little hands clutching it, a bright smile lighting up her face. But I stop myself from buying it. That would be overstepping. Right? I barely know her. Hell, I barely know Judd.

I think about getting Judd something instead—a book, maybe, or one of those fancy notebooks he always carries around. But what if he thinks I’m trying too hard? Or worse, what if he thinks I’m trying tofixsomething that can’t be fixed?

Back in the motel, I shoot him a text before I can talk myself out of it:

Hey, we should talk.

The second I hit send, I regret it. My phone sits in my hand like it’s made of lead, the message taunting me. When it doesn’t show as read after an hour, I curse under my breath and toss the phone against the wall. I’m so good at messing up good things. It’s my specialty. The one reason I’m here working construction instead of playing pro football. One screw-up after another.

***

Monday morning rolls around and I try to throw myself into work. Riocen’s project is a challenge, but it’s the kind of challenge I like. It keeps my hands busy and my mind focused—at least, until I find myself working alongside Athena.

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