“A bounce house?! I wanna go!”
It was so tempting to ask Delaney if she was sure and to tell her that if she felt anxious we’d come home, but I didn’t. I had to start being more mindful of offloading my own anxietyonto her. She wasn’t showing a single sign of being nervous about going, but the second I said something, I’d remind her that I expected her to be nervous.
“I should go buy some fireworks.” I hadn’t even thought to buy any to set off, since there were usually plenty of illegal ones to see in the sky.
“Actually...” Josie grimaced. “After you got home yesterday, I went and bought some, and I got a new outfit for Delaney, just in case.”
“A new outfit? I want to see!” Delaney was practically vibrating with excitement.
“You didn’t have to do that.” I didn’t deserve this woman. “I’ll pay you back, just let me know how much.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t need you to pay me back. It’s for me too. Besides, I have money.”
“Daddy, you can pay me instead.” Delaney gave me the most innocent look.
I grabbed her and tickled her, her shriek and giggles filling the room.
No one liked to acknowledge they couldn’t deal with something on their own, but as I sat in the living room waiting for Josie and Delaney to finish getting ready, a wave of panic washed over me. The longer I sat waiting, the tighter my chest got and the harder it was to breathe.
I glanced down at my watch for what felt like the hundredth time and took a deep breath, trying to calm myracing heart. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed therapy. I’d put it off for far too long thinking that I needed time to acclimate.
But that strategy was failing me.
The decision to talk to a professional relieved the tightness in my chest ever so slightly. It wouldn’t be easy—opening up about my struggles did not come naturally to me—but if I kept bottling everything up, I was headed for another breakdown. Josie had pulled me out of the one on Friday, but it wasn’t fair to unload everything on her.
“Are you ready for the big reveal?” Josie called from upstairs.
“More than ready.” I stood, grateful that I now had something to distract me from worrying about having a panic attack.
They walked down holding hands, and my breath hitched as I got my first look at them. Both were wearing navy blue sundresses, white sandals, and sparkly red ribbons in their hair. The only difference was Delaney had pigtails and Josie had a single braid.
Now my chest was tight for an entirely different reason. Everything became crystal clear to me. Me, Josie, and Delaney—a family.
Josie lifted her arm and spun Delaney around. “What do you think?” She sounded a little uncertain and bit that damn lip of hers.
I was at a literal loss for words, so I did the only thing that felt right. I strode toward them, grabbed the back of Josie’s neck to pull her forward and kissed her right there in front of my daughter.
Josie gasped against my lips in surprise but didn’t hesitate to kiss me back. We’d agreed we weren’t hiding our relationship from Delaney anymore, but we hadn’t exactly talked to her about it.
I pulled away from Josie, my eyes locked on her. “You look gorgeous. Both of you do.”
Delaney stared up at me, her nose scrunched in confusion. “Why did you kiss Josie?”
I knelt in front of her, bracing myself for tears. “Josie is my girlfriend now, and she made me so happy, I couldn’t stop myself from kissing her.”
Holding my breath, I watched the emotions play across Delaney’s face. Her bright blue eyes widened in surprise before narrowing slightly as she tilted her head, looking between Josie and me with curiosity. Then her little brow furrowed, and she bit her lip.
“Is Josie going to be my mommy?” The question shocked the hell out of me. I’d love for Josie to take that role, but that was a bit down the road, even if I did find myself already thinking about making Josie mine forever.
I glanced helplessly at Josie, hoping she’d know what to say, but she looked just as lost as I felt.
“Well, sweetie, we just started being boyfriend and girlfriend. She’s still your nanny, but she’ll be here more, like she has been the last few days.” It was the best I could do, and I hoped I hadn’t set us back months’ worth of progress.
I needed to divert her attention, so she didn’t think too much about the new dynamic. Glancing at my watch, I feigned surprise. “Oh, wow, look at the time! We’d better get going, or we’ll be late.”
Momentarily distracted, Delaney’s eyes lit up at the mention of the party before her face fell again. “Wait, I can’t go without Penny!” Before I could respond, she was darting upstairs to get Penelope’s sock puppet twin sister.
I stood, letting out a long breath and running my hand through my hair. “I probably shouldn’t have done that.”