Page 134 of Born of Ice

I didn’t slept a wink the whole night, arriving well over three in the morning, I barely dragged my feet through my apartment in the city. The one I haven’t been to in months and now nothing about it feels like home.

I was bone-deep tired and still couldn’t fall asleep on the mattress that didn’t feel like mine anymore or without her warm body pressed into me. The scent in the room was off, the noise, too loud.

Everything is wrong. Every fucking thing.

But I did the right one by letting her go.

Or at least, that’s what I keep telling myself. Although, it doesn’t change the fact that I destroyed myself in the process. I split my own soul in half and there’s no way I’ll get it back. And now I have to get on that ice and pretend like I have it all together.

Like I’m not missing the most vital piece of me. My calm.

I glance at the clock, it’s an hour until puck drop and about ten minutes until her boarding starts.

Why isn’t there a feature that tells you if the person boarded the plane? It would be so convenient.

Anddd a new level of stalkery is unlocked.Way to go, Axe. I drop the phone into my bag and pretend like I’m not counting the seconds to her take off.

Part of me—the selfish one—hopes she’d call or text. That she’d tell me it will be okay, but I still haven’t heard from her, not that I’m really expecting to. She needs to get what she’s been dreaming about. She needs to fulfill her dreams, and I’ll just stay here with my selfish thoughts.

It’s partly why I didn’t give her a definitive answer on the status of our relationship. How could I? No matter what answer I’d have it would hold her back.

But I can be patient. I can stay away until she wins her gold next year and then I’ll be there, it’s a small price to pay for her dream before I’ll be there begging at her feet to take me back. And if she’ll go back to that fucker, I’ll do anything in my power to fight for her.

Screw bro code, being a gentleman, and all that. In a year, I’ll get my other half of the soul back.

“Hey.” Sava sits on the bench next to me. “What’s going on? Where is your head at?”

“At Terminal B,” I grumble, continuing to tape my stick while mostly ignoring his narrowed eyes on me.

“Well, send an Uber for it, because we need it on that ice. You know who we are up against today, Exton,” he adds, and I grit my teeth.

It has to be them. My first game back and it’s against the Ice Devils.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, sure,” he says it like he doesn’t buy my crap any more than I am, but what other option is there?

“Is Electra coming tonight? I want to meet her,” Abel shouts from the other side of the locker room and the grip on my stick tightens until I hear it crack.

Next thing I know, my stick is flying across the room, straight into the wall and splitting in half.

“No. She’s not.”

“Well, well, well isn’t this my lucky day?” Yanis smiles wickedly, skating circles around me.

Calm. Stay calm. This is your game, not this fucker’s.

What if by some lucky chance she’ll watch the game? Show her you can be strong on your own. Show her! Don’t hold her back.

“You and I might have different interpretations of what a lucky day looks like.” I don’t bother to hide the sneer, and once again he is not one to back down, that challenge glinting like a pissed-on crap in his eyes.

“I guess we’ll see.” Yanis smirks and skates over to his side.

All too soon, the anthem is over, we get in positions, and it’s game time.

“The energy in the arena is absolutely insane today!”

“Oh yes, you can feel the tension of that tie between Florida Ice Devils and Boston Outlaws.”

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