Page 72 of Possession

“May I please speak to Declan O’Connell, patient code four-five-two-seven?” I held the phone to my ear with my left hand, and chewed the fingernail of my right pinky as I waited for the clerk to tell me what I already knew.

Her breathing was even and I could hear her tapping on the keyboard of her computer as she most likely was searching for Declan’s information. “He’s not taking phone calls at this time, would you like to leave a message?”

Let him know I’m going crazy not knowing what’s happening to him. Tell him I love him, tell him I’m sorry… tell him I need him here. Tell him to come back to me.“Will you let him know Paige Simon called… again?” My throat ached as I spoke around my emotion.

She exhaled an annoyed breath. “Yeah, I’ll let him know.”

I’d called every day, three times a day since I’d left Declan in the ER. That night had forged a steel vice around my heart. The fear in his eyes as I left the room… I’d never forget it. He watched me leave, and if the silence had spoken it would have shouted from his lips, “Please… please don’t leave me alone.” That was two weeks ago.

He’d spoken to me on the phone the first day. He’d told me he was fine, that he would manage, that he needed this time, for himself… for treatment. I hadn’t known that he’d intended to cut me off completely. I’d gone from worried, to panicked, and moved straight to an all-out breakdown by the seventh day. I hadn’t gone to work, I’d hardly eaten, and if I hadn’t decided to finally stop pacing the house, I think Lana would’ve had me committed.It wasn’t until Liam started to ignore my calls that I’d began to think maybe Declan had given up on us. Maybe he didn’t need me to get through this, maybe he’d decided what I’d known all along… I was cursed, and all I ever brought us was pain.

I threw my cell phone on the bed and let the tears leak from my eyes. We’d come so far, and everything we’d built since we’d gotten back together came burning to the ground in bright cinders of red and blood. I’d never seen Declan like that before. His body had moved and thrashed as it sought out Clark’s flesh for redemption. Declan’s face had gone slack, as if he no longer belonged to himself, to this world, and if it hadn’t been for Liam, I’d have been a widow instead of just a divorcee.

Two weeks.

Two weeks of worry.

Two weeks of fear.

Without him… there was no color.

I plopped down on the bed, wiped my cheeks with my fingertips, leaned over, grabbed my boots and slipped them on. I had to be strong… for me… for us.

There may not be an ‘us’ anymore, Paige.

I shook off my doubt as I prepared for what today would bring. Today was the day I had to meet with my parents. I’d tried to push it off, but they’d heard what had happened, and my mother had called me almost every day since. I wasn’t naïve enough, not anymore, to think she gave a crap about me. All she wanted to do was try and manipulate me into feeling guilty. Blame me, and tell me I needed to win Clark back. Win my chance at an exclusive seat in Heaven next to my eternal partner. My only chance at deliverance. Bile rose in my throat at the thought. Declan was all I’d ever want in this life, and all I’d ever hope for in the next. My mother was delusional if she thought I’d ever fight to get back together with Clark, and I was sure he no longer wanted toownme either.

After the incident, his lawyer was the one to contact me. Clark had finally let go. I guess almost going to jail for an alleged assault was the wakeup call he’d needed. I was still indebted to Chandler for making sure Declan hadn’t been the one implicated. It was a few days ago, when Clark’s lawyer called me to tell me the divorce papers had been sent to the court, and now all we had to do was wait for it to be official. It could take up to a month. One month might’ve sounded like an eternity if I hadn’t known what it was like to live through these past two weeks.

Lana had been gone all morning meeting with her thesis professor, and the house was too quiet as I walked out the front door. I pulled the hood of my jacket over my head once the frigid air hit my cheeks and tangled my hair. The snow was falling in fat, wet flakes, and they clumped on my jacket as I walked to my car. It seemed too early to be snowing already, and our abnormally hot summer had become an unusually cold fall. I tossed my purse onto the passenger side seat and nearly slipped as I quickly sat in my car. I turned on the engine and flipped the heat to full blast. The wipers easily removed the damp and heavy snow from my windshield.

My body was still numb by the time I got to my parents’ home and it wasn’t from the cold. I let the car run for a moment as I stared up at the house. It looked the same, except the trees had lost their leaves in the storm, the quaking aspens were bare and made me think of Declan and his painting. The vice squeezed my heart and my stomach tensed. I reached into my purse and grabbed my phone. I dialed Liam again. I needed something, some piece of Declan to take with me into Hell, because once I walked into that house, I was afraid I’d lose myself all over again.

It rang three times before his deep voice answered, “Hello.”

“Liam,” I said with severe relief. If he hadn’t picked up, my next stop on my way home would’ve been Avenues.

Silence.

“Please,” I begged.

He exhaled a long breath. “He doesn’t want to talk to you.”

My sternum cracked down the center. “Why?” I whispered past the pain in my throat.

Nothing.

“Liam, I’m frightened… worried… I love him, and I… I need to know if—”

“It’s been rough, Paige, real fucking rough.”

A silent sob shook my shoulders and I closed my eyes.

“They fucked with his head, they changed his meds, and he had a reaction to one of them, so the doctors did a med wash and—”

“A med wash?” I opened my eyes and looked up at the front windows. The curtains were still shut tight.

“Yeah, they stopped all of his meds. Weaned him off for a few days, but he…” the low timbre strangled the words as if he was fighting his own feelings. “He went into this psychotic state, and he wouldn’t talk to anyone. He almost became violent with a staff member when they tried to take his journal.” I couldn’t help the tears that poured down my cheeks. He’d been in the dark all alone. “He’s doing better now. They’ve put him back on his meds. A few of the old ones and this new anti-psychotic. He’s looking good. Talking again, but… he doesn’t want anyone to see him like this. He won’t talk to my mom or Kieran. Just me.”

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