Page 71 of Possession

“Yes.”

“Fuck this,” Liam growled and Paige gasped.

“Enough.” Paige was breaking and I had to be strong for her. “I’ll do it. How long will I have to stay?”

“Maybe a week, maybe a little longer, it depends on how you do with the med changes.” He picked up his iPad. “I’ll get the paperwork started.”

He left the room and Paige started crying. I pulled her to my chest and ignored the suffocating panic that was building in my lungs.

“Give us a minute?” I asked Liam and he nodded reluctantly.

Once he was out of the room, Paige leaned back and said, “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have told you to come. I should’ve met you at Avenues once I was off work.”

“My mental illness is not your fault. I should’ve taken my meds like I was supposed to. Maybe I wouldn’t have reacted like I had. Maybe I could’ve kept my cool. Don’t blame yourself, this is all me and my fucked-up brain.”

You’re her burden.

She pities you.

She saw the monster, she saw him.

She saw what you really are.

“They’re getting worse, I can tell, you zone out.” Paige dropped her eyes. “Like today. Your eyes went totally blank, Declan… I was so scared for you.”

“Maybe this is a good thing.”

I was terrified.

“Maybe.” She sniffled and wiped under her eyes. “I hope they let me visit.”

The thought of her seeing me in a place like that made me sick.

“I don’t want you to visit me in there.” Her face fell and I cupped her cheek. “I don’t want you to see me like that. I have no idea what’s going to happen, and the last thing I want is for you to pity me, I can do this… I need to get better, get my head straight… for us.”

“I don’t pity you, Declan, I love you.”

“Paige, I can’t.”

“Will you at least call me?” One tear escaped the corner of her eye and I wiped it with my thumb before I lowered my hand.

“If I can.”

The door opened again and Liam came through with two staff members.

“They’re gonna move you now.”

Paige sucked in a deep breath and my heart plummeted into my stomach. It felt as if the acid from my gut was shredding it to pieces as they asked her and my brother to leave.

“We can’t go with him?” Liam was reaching his limit.

“They allow visiting once a day from seven to eight in the evening.” The girl in gray scrubs picked at her nails like she was bored and his jaw compressed.

I tilted my head toward Paige’s ear. “I love you.”

I kissed her in front of everyone, not giving a shit, holding on to the taste. I looked into her eyes and inhaled her scent. I’d take as much of her with me as I could. My biggest fear as I watched her and Liam leave was not knowing which medications they would give me. I’ve always dealt with the voices, but being numb, not feeling that fucking flame in my chest for Paige, not having that need, that warmth, I’d slit open every vein before I’d let them turn me into a robot.

I’d die before I let them erase my love for her.

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