Page 44 of A Game as Old as Time

The white-painted lines that were once a prison now felt like an opportunity. Sure, it was not the same, but it never would be. He was starting to understand that, and as he zoned in on the huddle, all his teammates turned to him.

Find yourself.

He sprinted the last few yards. Coach Bianchi was about to take his normal knee in the middle.

“Coach!” Gunner yelled as he barreled into the crowd of players. “Coach, I’d like to say something.”

The eyes of the entire team remained on him as Coach Bianchi stood up and adjusted his visor.

Please, Coach.

“OK Gunner, lead us out.”

He stepped into the middle of his teammates. The faces, older now, were the same ones that he had played with since he was six years old. They had grown up together, they had won games together, and as he locked eyes with each of them, he realized something he had been missing all this time.

They’re all lost.

He nodded and sat his helmet down, the reflection of the stadium lights gleaming off the top.

“I owe you all an apology.” He cleared his throat and adjusted the inside of his shoulder pads. “Not just because over the last few games I have acted like an idiot. Not because I have played like complete garbage.” Emilio, to Gunner’s immediate right, leaned toward him. “I wanted to apologize because I have lied to all of you.”

He met Ty’s eyes.

“For the last five months, I have told every one of you that I was fine. I acted as if I could handle all of this and be the same guy who has played with you all these years.”

Andy and JT exchanged a quick glance.

“But I lied.” He lowered his head, feeling everyone getting closer. “I’m not fine.”

OK, I said it.

It was like a weight lifted off his shoulders. The tightness he had been carrying around started to ease.

“In fact, I’m far from it.” He glanced back to Ty. “Every day I look at myself, and well, I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing.”

He put his hand on his hip and sighed.

“I realized today that I have been trying to do this all by myself. I thought I had to try to figure out all of this alone.” Emilio moved right up beside him. “You guys asked me to be your captain, and I failed you. I failed you because a captain understands that he must trust his teammates.”

A tear was sliding down his cheek, and he dashed it away.

“This team deserves to have captains who understand this and can use it to make us better.” He pulled even harder on his shoulder pads. “Because of that, I am giving up my role as captain of this football team.”

An uneasy shift passed through the huddle.

“AG, JT, Ty, and Emilio,” he said, pointing to each in turn. “You have been the leaders that this team deserves. You are worthy captains. I don’t deserve to stand with you out on that field.”

The team was now anxiously shuffling around as the referee blew his whistle for the game to start.

“But.” He bent down and grabbed his helmet. “As captains, I’m going to ask you to give me another chance. I’m asking this whole team.” He turned to every player in the circle. “I need you, all of you.”

A sense of determination entered his stomach when he pointed out to the football field.

“My dad always said that this football team was a family, and it took a whole family to win a game.” He walked out, standing alone in front of the sideline. “And it’s time I asked my family to help me figure out what to do next. Starting with this game.”

The referee blew the whistle again, ushering the team onto the field.

Please.

---