Page 32 of Sawyer

“Hey, it’s okay,” he says, his voice gentle. “It’s good you’re here. You have a little time to figure it all out.”

We’re almost at the Parsnip now, and I wish time would stop. I wish I could just keep walking along the boardwalk with Sawyer forever.

Wait. Forever?

The thought slipped gently through my mind before I had a moment to vet it, but I find the idea of forever with my hand nestled in Sawyer’s elbow doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the prospect of returning to Juneau to be with Clark. It doesn’t generate the same heaviness or melancholy inside of me. It feels effortless, unexpectedly organic.

But I don’t want to compare Clark to Sawyer or Juneau to Skagway. My future is with Clark in Juneau. The decision’s already been made, and questioning it could wreck the relationship I’m building with my father and his dreams for my future.

“I guess we’re here,” says Sawyer.

I look up at the gaudy lavender building and nod. He gently untangles my hand from his arm.

“Thanks for walking me over,” I say.

“Anytime.”

“I missed you,” I blurt out. “Ialwaysmissed you after I left.”

“I missed you, too.”

“Thatsummer…I should have told you I was leaving.”

“Yes,” he agrees. “You should have.”

“I didn’t know how to say goodbye…” I gulp softly. “We’d always been friends—”

“Who kissed sometimes,” he reminds me.

“Yes. And then suddenly we were…”

“More,” he whispers, taking a step closer to me.

“More,” I whisper back. “Sawyer, I want—”

“What do you want, princess?” he asks me, his eyes searing.

“I…I…I don’t know,” I answer, my gaze sliding to his lips.

He inches toward me, his face closer and closer, his lips about to touch mine when the door to the Parsnip opens and Bruce sticks his face outside.

“Our stars have arrived! Are you two coming inside or what?”

“Of course!” I cry, jerking away from Sawyer.

“Sure,” says Sawyer, shoving his hands in his pockets and frowning at me. “We’re coming.”

Without another word, he follows Bruce inside, and I’m left behind to follow.

***

Were we about to kiss?

Oh, my God, was I going to let that happen?

I’m lying on my back in bed, my hand suspended overhead so I can stare at my engagement ring and let wave after wave of shame wash over me.

I’mnota cheater.

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