Clark is—wasa cheater, but he changed his ways, and I forgave him.
But me?I am absolutely, positively not a cheater.
And it hurts my heart, and my sense of honor, to wonder if I would have let Sawyer kiss me if Bruce hadn’t interrupted us. I like to believe I would’ve turned my face away at the last second, but I think that’s a lie. I think I probably would’ve kissed him back and hated myself even more than I do now.
If I was smart, I’d pull out of the show—tell Bruce that Aunt P. is too sick to be left alone three nights a week, but everyone in Skagway is so on top of everyone else, he’d know it was a lie. My uncle is home from school every day by five o’clock, and he knows it.
Well,I tell myself,aside from rehearsals, you’ll just have to stay away from Sawyer.
And what about when you’re at rehearsals?asks my heart.You have two or three scenes in which Catherine kisses Heathcliff. What are you going to do about that?
“It doesn’t count,” I mutter. “That’s acting. As long as a kiss takes place on the stage, it’s not cheating.”
My phone buzzes on the bedside table: CLARK.
I don’t feel like talking right now, but I feel so guilty about the time I spent with Sawyer tonight, I feel like I have to answer.
“Hi, Clark,” I say.
“Hey, babe!” His voice booms over the line. “How’s my girl doing tonight?”
“Okay,” I say. “I had my first rehearsal.”
“Oh, man.” He chuckles. “Was it a total joke?”
I frown. “No. Actually, it was good. Fun.”
“As much fun as you can find in freakin’ Skagway, huh? God, Skagway in October. I don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself, babe.”
“You knowexactlywhy I’m doing this. My aunt’s struggling,” I say. But in my heart, I know my bitter attitude is less about my aunt and more about whatalmosthappened with Sawyer.Lighten up, Ivy.“Anyway, yeah. It was fun. You know, it’s a pretty good script. I think it could be a great show.”
“You’re so fuckin’ artsy, babe. The Juneau libs are gonna love that about you.”
Clark is not a “lib.” To Clark’s and my father’s amusement, I am.
Fun fact: while Alaska almost always goes red in the US presidential election, Juneau often votes blue. Point in fact, only forty-three percent of Juneau’s population voted for the Republican candidate in 2020. Being slightly left of center in Juneau is an ideal place for me to land in terms of political ideology.
“How about you?” I ask him. “Doyoulove that about me?”
He laughs. “You’re so cute, babe. Hey! Did I tell you that your dad managed to get me a job at APC? The hedge fund? Not an internship. Ajob.”
“Wait. What?”
“Yeah. He said that I should work at APC for a few years to make contacts and get some decent finance experience, and then we could start talking about me taking a position at Caswell Coal.”
“Huh. Okay. But I thought you wanted to check out politics for a few months.”
“Your dad thinks finance is a better idea. He was in town for business last week, so we had dinner. He said to zig-zag…or something like that. Like,mydad’s a politician andyoursis a business owner, soIshould go into business or banking, andyoushould go into politics. He said it cross-strengthens our families. And he said something about coal legislation needing to be passed, but I guess he wants to talk about that with you. He’s anxious for you to get back down here, babe.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“How’s your aunt doing?” he asks, but I know that distracted tone. He’s checking out social media and doesn’t really care about my aunt.
“Clark,” I ask instead, “are you eveninterestedin finance?”
I imagine him looking away from Instagram and re-focusing on what I’m saying. “What? Finance? Yeah. I’m interested.”
“Really? Because I don’t—”