“Oh, but I do! I fucking hate her all the way to Utqiagvik and back.”
“Stop. She didn’t do anything.”
“She broke up with you without any explanation. More than once! How’re you supposed to get over that?”
“We were just kids,” I remind her. “She had a right to move on. This is my problem, not hers.”
“Okay. Yeah. You need to move on, too!” Sandra huffs. “What about Avery Wells? You still got sumpin’ humpin’ with her?”
I purse my lips. “That’s…nothing.”
“How is it nothing?”
“Avery and I don’t have any feelings for each other, and you know it. It’s just physical.”
“Okay. Well…if you’d actually let yourself fall for someone and have real feelings for them, that would be a healthy step in the right direction.”
“I just haven’t met anyone who—”
“Because you’re not trying!” cries Sandra. “There are lots of tourists coming through town. Lots of seasonal help here for the whole summer. There are lots of pretty motherfucking fish in the giant goddamned sea, Joseph!”
We’re at a stalemate, evidenced by a good five seconds of silence before Sandra pipes up again.
“Okay. You know I love you, right?” she asks me. “Like, all kidding aside, I think of you more like a brother than a cousin.”
“I know.”
“And I would miss the shit out of you if you left Skagway.”
“I’m not planning to leave Skag—Sandra, where are you going with this?”
“Well, I heard that Wasilla PD is looking for a new chief. It’s all very hush-hush, but Bart’s friends with a cop over there. They’re looking for someone new to take over for the retiring chief and…well, maybe you should think about it.”
“I have a job. Here.”
“I know. But I think it’s time for you to get out of here—to put some distance between you and you-know-who.”
“My whole life is here.”
“What life? A job, sure. And a house, okay. And you’ve got me for as long as you can stand me. But, cuz, you don’t have a life here. You’re letting life pass you by. You live in the past. You’re thirty years old, and you’ve got no wife, no little ones.”
Sandra knows I want a wife and kids more than anything, and her use of that longing to make a point triggers something in me. “Oh. And you’re the blueprint for the perfect wife and mom? You gonna give me advice, cuz? You got knocked up at sixteen—”
“Now you’re just being an asshole.”
I cringe, taking a deep breath and tamping down my anger.
“You’re right. Sorry.”
“See? You never lash out unless we’re talking about Harper Stewart. She’s bad for you, Joseph. She makes you mean. You see one of those fucking Stewarts walking around town, and you get into a mood. If it sucks a little for me to see it, I can’t imagine how bad it sucks for you to live it.”
“I’m not moving to Wasilla, Sandra.”
“Well, it’s an option.”
“No, it’s not. I have little enough family as it is. I’m not leaving you and Aunt Hannah.”
Sandra scoffs. “I don’t know who you think you’re kidding, cuz, because it’s not me and my mom you’re worried about leaving.”