In the main hallway between Divine and Divide, an air of desolation clung to the warehouse. The faint scent of dry ice hung in the air along with alcohol and whatever else had been trodden underfoot and not yet mopped up by the cleaning crew.
Lara carried a box into the propped-open door of the nightclub. It seemed a little early for restocking the bars, but I gave a wave and turned in the other direction.
Arran’s office door was locked, but I’d kept a key and fished it from my pocket.
The lift pinged. I peeked back to see Dixie emerge.
She yawned daintily, the back of her hand to her mouth. “What are you doing still up?”
I leaned on the doorframe. “I could say the same for ye.”
She flapped a hand in the general direction of upstairs. “We had a party of international visitors, all on a different time zone, so none were ready to finish at any reasonable time. Manny just saw the last into a taxi. I am dead on my feet.”
She gestured to the feet in question, encased in a pair of cute silver high-top trainers. They went with her torn leggings and slouchy off-one-shoulder jumper. Civvies again. I envied how any clothes turned stylish the minute she put them on.
Her gaze came back to me. “I’m glad I ran into you. After the lesson I gave you, something was bothering me.”
She took a breath, and her gaze searched the middle ground as if she was trying to work through her thoughts. “I don’t think sex always needs to be a performance. Not when the guy isn’t paying. Not when he’s a boyfriend. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to make him feel good, but there’s the loving element of it that I don’t know anything about.”
“The element where you just enjoy each other?”
Some of the puzzlement in her eyes lifted. “Exactly. If he cares about you, he’ll be the one doing the work sometimes. And if you’re happy together, then just rolling around and exploring each other would be fun, right?” She twisted her fingers. “I was thinking about something you said the other day. About a boyfriend.”
“Ohemgee. Do ye want one? Can I set ye up?”
“I don’t know? It’s been on my mind.”
“What are ye looking for?” I gave her my full focus, happy to ignore the ticking clock of the call.
“Once, I made a play for the boss. Kinda stupid of me, but I thought about why I’d done it, and it wasn’t because of attraction.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Arran? Gross.”
“Like I said, it wasn’t based on wanting him as a person. More as a bodyguard. I wouldn’t mind the protection a man can offer, though maybe I want more. I like the way your boy behaves around you.”
I stilled, the tone of her words worrying me. Unlocking the office, I tugged Dixie inside with me and closed the door.
“You’re scared of something.”
“Aren’t we all?”
“If ye need a bodyguard, we’ll get ye one.”
“It isn’t only for protection, and please don’t worry—Manny is driving me home. I want more than that. Someone to care about me. To notice me, I guess. For more than just these.” She pointed to her boobs. “How did you do it? You claimed Riordan before there was anything between you, right?”
My breath came in a short exhale. “I don’t know if I’m the example to follow. You’re right, though. I saw him and recognised what I wanted was right there in his big body. Whether I can keep him is another matter.”
Her eyes rounded in outrage. “Girl, he is smitten. If he hurts you, I’ll dick punch him.”
My heart squeezed. “The problem is me, not him.”
In a rush, the thoughts I’d prepared for my therapist spilled out. All the obsessions I’d had. The fanatical love. The certainty that it would never end. I told Dixie it all. After a minute, I stopped myself. “I’m really sorry. I want to talk about your problems. Not mine. I’ve got a call with my therapist lined up to try to tackle this shite.”
Dixie gave me a soft smile. “I never had any therapy, but Alisha offered it many times. She said it’s the thing you need when you can’t get around yourself in order to live happy.”
“Aren’t ye happy?”
Her smile faltered. “I try to be? Hun, I never asked for this life, but I ain’t going to be good at any other so I make the most of it.”