Page 126 of Riordan's Revenge

“That part about asking for it, is that something to do with your secret mission? The thing you’re scared of?”

My phone rang loudly in my pocket.

I held Dixie’s gaze. She moved to the door.

“Fix your head and keep your boy. We can talk another time.”

She walked away before I had a chance to stop her. There was nothing left for me to do but face the music.

Dr Hillier commenced the call with the bright chirpiness of someone who’d had a good night’s sleep and a tall cup of coffee. “It’s been a while since we last spoke. Tell me, how have you been?”

“I’m in love,” I mumbled.

She didn’t hesitate. “Does the object of your affection know?”

“Yes.”

“Does he or she feel the same?”

“I hope not.” I winced at my own words. They used to be true. They weren’t now. “I kidnapped him.”

“Cassiopeia, is he still a captive?”

I coughed an unfunny laugh. “He’s fine. He’s not the problem. I am. The whole time we’ve been together, I’ve been waiting for it to end.”

“What do you anticipate your trigger will be in this instance?”

As always, the good doctor reached the point fast.

In all cases in the past, my obsessions would soar until an often minor event killed them dead. With the band I’d adored, it was coming face to face with them at a meet and greet Jamiesontook me to when I was fourteen.‘Thanks for being a fan. We love you. Stream our new album,’the singer had drawled, his expression bored, and his eyes red from whatever he’d snorted.

Dead to me. Instantly.

I’d quit university—a business studies degree I’d battled obsessively to get onto as my grades hadn’t been that great—not because of bullying, like my family believed, but because a professor had talked to me seriously about my career options.

‘You’re a natural leader. You should concentrate on business management. I’ll find you a mentor.’

It sank my interest like a stone.

The same thing had happened with school friends. The minute they got too close or made plans for me, I’d drop them. The interest had shifted from being mine to theirs.

I knew what my trigger would be with Riordan.

“When he tells me he loves me back.” I forced the words out.

She gave an audible sigh. I was right back to being a teenager, waiting on her judgement.

“You’re searching for a way to let him down as a method of controlling this,” she stated.

I shook my head, not that she could see. “All I’d need to do is tell him I don’t love him anymore and he’ll walk away. He’s expecting it.”

It would hurt him. It would kill me to cause him pain.

Doctor Hillier praised my honesty then launched into a series of solutions, most of which involved calming my overexcited mind and backing off with the intensity of which I’d approached the relationship. I told her about Riordan and his father, the mayor, and how hurting him would kill me. I was an all-or-nothing kind of girl. I didn’t do anything by half measures.

Finally, we got to her advice. “Ask him not to say the words that scare you. Avoid the trigger until you feel confident in handling it.”

Except I so badly wanted his love. What a horrible Catch-22.

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