Page 89 of Sweet Pea

“Because I fell in love with a person, not a sack full of circumstances,” I replied. “I love you for the person I know you to be. Strong, yet gentle. Kind, yet protective. Controlled, but still takes risks. And most of all, driven by justice.”

Tears filled Sweet Pea’s eyes. “Callie, there are so many things that aren’t on that list.”

“I don’t care.”

“But you do care. You want me to talk about my past and open up about what I’ve gone through. Some shit was written on that list during that time of my life, and I’ve written my fair share since joining the club. You don’t know how fucking damaged I am.”

“And you’re afraid of what? That I’d leave you if I knew?”

“Yes!” Sweet Pea shouted, clutching his ribs.

I rushed to him, but he waved me off.

* * *

Sweet Pea

“I’m okay,” I groanedas Callie approached the bed. I was in too much pain to be touched. My doctor had been weaning me off the pain meds over the past few days, as this would be my last night in the hospital. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be my last night on earth, but I couldn’t deny it was a possibility. If I did make it out of the sit down alive, I was going to spend the rest of my time at Eldie’s clinic, where the club had setup a rehab suite for me.

After several moments of silence, Callie spoke, “Whatever happened in your past. Whatever you’ve done. It can’t be worth carrying around like this, Pea,” she said softly.

“My sins, I can live with,” I said.

“It feels like you’re living with everyone’s sins on your shoulders,” Callie said.

“Maybe I am,” I growled. “My uncle’s, my father’s, my brother’s. The list goes on if you really wanna fucking hear it.”

“I do,” Callie cried out, and I broke.

My body was too weak to hold in its secrets any longer, and my heart was too full of Callie’s love to accept any more poison from my mind. For the first time in my life, the feeling I had throughout my body matched what I felt inside emotionally. I was broken in every way, and if this was going to be my last night on earth, I was going to use my brokenness to say the words I’d never had the strength to say before, to the only woman who’d ever loved me.

“My uncle raped me.”

Callie said nothing. She just lowered the guard rail, climbed into the hospital bed and held me as I told her everything. I talked about the fucked up shit my uncle did, and how helpless and ashamed it made me feel. I told her all about how my father used his wealth and influence to cover the abuse up and the bloody way my brother dealt with it. I left nothing out, and Callie never flinched. If she had a question, she’d ask it, and I would answer honestly. It was the hardest thing I’d ever done and the closest I’d ever felt to another person.

Callie held me tight, and for the first time in as long as I could remember, I wept. More importantly, Charlie wept.

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