Page 88 of Sweet Pea

“Because you’d just turned the Saints’ protection business over to Los Psychos,” I said.

“Look who’s been paying attention in biker class,” Sweet Pea said, motioning me to his lips. “Come get your gold star.”

I kissed him and said, “This would all be a lot more fascinating if the man I loved wasn’t right in the middle of it.”

“For Wolf, this is personal. I think he’s wanted to wear the president’s patch since the first time he put on a kutte. Turning his back on Minus the way he did was his way of saying he was the true Alpha.”

“And then you made him look like a bitch,” I said.

“Oh, fuck baby, my ribs,” Sweet Pea gasped for air in between shallow bursts of laughter.

“I’m so sorry, oh my God. I hate all of this.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through this,” he said.

“I know, and to be honest, it’s not what’s bothering me the most,” I said.

“What is it, babe?”

“I feel stupid bringing it up with everything else that’s going on.”

“What is it? You can say anything.”

“That’s just it,” I said. “I can say anything to you, but what about you to me?”

“I kept details about my club from you to protect you,” Sweet Pea said.

“No, you kept them from me to protect you and your club, and I understand that. But you could have been honest with me from the start.”

“How could I have known that?” Sweet Pea asked.

“Minus did,” I replied.

“Wow, that’s not fair,” he said, clearly hurt.

“What’s not fair is that Minus trusted me the second I asked him to tell me everything, but you couldn’t.”

“I don’t know why Minus was willing to say word one to you about club business, but I’ve come to trust his methods even when I don’t understand them. Which is most of the time.”

“The point isn’t about Minus, it’s about you.”

“What do you want me to say?”

I stood up and paced. “Say anything as long as it’s open and honest. Tell me something that lets me know you’re as invested in this relationship as I am. As soon as I heard about your accident, I left my job and came right here to the hospital.”

“I know, baby.”

“No, I mean I left my job, as in I quit.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Gregg was giving me crap about taking a few personal days and I just sort of exploded on him. My need to be here with you made me do the thing I already knew I had to do. I heard your voice in my head telling me to bet on myself. My love for you helped make me brave. Do you understand?”

“I understand, I just wish it was as easy for me to be so open about certain shit.”

“Easy? Do you think anything in my life has been easy since we met?” I asked.

“Then why stick around?”