Page 109 of All Our Secrets

“I can hear it. What kind is it?”

I squinted. “Umm… It’s big and black.”

“That doesn’t tell me what it is, but I think I know where you are. Did you pull into Burke’s Drive?”

“Yes.”

“You almost made it yourself. You took the left instead of the right when you hit the fork in the road, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“I’m coming.”

I checked on T.J. while I waited on Silas, then got brave and talked to the dog through the window. Surprisingly, he started wagging his tail as soon as I spoke to him. He looked like a cross between a black lab and a pit bull. After a while, when he hadn’t gone back to barking or clawing at my car, I rolled down the glass and petted his head. He wagged his tail like crazy at the attention. Like all the big guy needed was a little love.

When Silas’s truck pulled in and he spotted me petting the mutt, his scowl was evident. He stepped out, and the dog walked over to him. He rubbed the pooch’s ears, shaking his head. “What if Maverick was a mean mut and bit your arm off?”

“I think you need a dog.” Maverick returned to my door, so I gave him another pat. “Can we take him to your gram’s?”

“Marty will have my head if I steal the ugly thing,” Silas gestured toward the house that must belong to Marty.

“I think he’s beautiful.”

Silas laughed. “Follow me. Can you do that for me, baby?” Then he turned and headed back to his truck.

Chapter Forty-Two:

your last

Silas

My stomach churned as Peyton followed me up the porch steps. It was a tight drive through the hollow, but the area around Gram’s old place was beautiful. At least to me. I’d move out here once I finished remodeling. And maybe I’d miraculously get Peyton and T.J. here too, hence why I was nervous about her reaction.

“All of this land belongs to you?”

I turned at Peyton’s sharp gasp. Her brown eyes were lit up as she saw the tire swing hanging from the huge pine tree to the right of the house.

That’s a good sign, I thought.

I walked down the steps and reached for T.J. She handed him over with all the ease in the world. It was a humbling experience. I never wanted to lose her trust, but… would I? The day I told her who I was? She deserved to know. Steven knew, so it was a wonder in itself that Peyton hadn’t learned my identity. Maybe I wasn’t ready to tell her that day or the next, but I would.

“Get on it. It’ll hold you. I just replaced the rope—”

Before I got all my words out, she took off running for the tire. T.J. kicked his little legs, and his fists tightened up as he watched his mom. Positioning him in my arms so he faced me, I saw my best friend in the blue eyes staring at me. There was no guilt, only a sadness for Theodore and his son. Theodore would miss out on raising him. T.J. would never know his father.

I wanted to be whatever this baby needed. Not because of Theodore. While my love for Peyton gave me affections for her son, it wasn’t her either. For T.J. alone, I wanted to be all the things I’d never had.

But could I be what he needed? I didn’t have the family dynamics Theodore had. I was as dysfunctional as a person came. But I supposed that meant I knew all the thingsnotto do. I’d die before letting Peyton’s son go a day thinking he was unwanted by me.

At the same time, as I stared at this little child, I had one gut-wrenching realization.

“Silas?” Peyton tilted her head, a worry on her lips as she swung on the tire. “What is it?”

I hugged T.J. to my chest. “It dawned on me that I have no family. None whatsoever for you or T.J. I can’t give you guys the big, warm, welcoming family Theodore has. All I have is me.”

She swung back and forth, tennis shoes catching the grass before coming to a halt. She bit her bottom lip, then did nothing more than stare. Or wait. I wasn’t sure.

So I continued, “But you’ll never be without. All my time and affection are yours.”

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