Page 70 of Soul Food

I tasted her flesh, her desire. I kissed her lips and buried myself deep in her. My soul food had no clue what else I wanted from her.

I couldn’t stop. Not until I had all of her.

Chapter Nineteen

RUTH

Hi, my name is Ruth Thomas. I’m an American rapper with millions of fans all over the world, and I’m currently falling apart. I have a little more than a month left before a demon comes and takes my soul. How is this happening, you ask? Well, ten years ago, a demon came to eat my soul, and then I sang seconds before he did. For some unknown reason, he said he’d give me what I wanted, but he’d come back.

A life full of song and lyrics. My words were heard thanks to the demon’s decision to let me keep my soul a little longer, only my time is almost up, and there’s nothing fun about knowing you’re about to lose your soul to a demon.

I’m going to die.

And what’s worse, I finally found something else I want that’s not music. This feeling makes me want to live. People write songs about it. It should have been lust, but I’m starting to realize it never really was. It was far deeper than anything I could dream.

I lit the words I had just written on fire and let go seconds before the flames reached my fingers, allowing the last bit of paper to fall into the toilet. Some things needed to be said, some heard, or seen and written. I needed some kind of outlet. My mind and heart were all over the place, and there was no comfort from here on out. I couldn’t convince my mind to be happy.

Happy hurt. Being around Ma, Jayne, and Moose hurt. Being around Amit did too. How were all my people going to feel when I was gone? I didn’t ask for this, but I accepted it at the time because nothing else mattered but getting what I wanted. There was no regret on that part. If I’d refused the demon, I would have died long ago. But thinking of Ma and what this would do to her suddenly frightened me. How could I overlook such a huge thing? Would she keep being happy for me? Or would she be sad that I was gone? Surely, she’d know I’d want her to be happy. I should approach the subject with her soon but I wasn’t not sure how to.

I flushed the toilet; the ashes disappeared with the water and wondered if there was something that could be done. There wasn’t. Who would believe me? I didn’t want to die and leave the world wondering if I was crazy or summoning the Devil.

How did this happen to me? I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to know.

As I walked out of the bathroom, I heard the front door open, and Jayne walked through my house seconds later carrying food. “Why do you look like you’ve been run over?” she asked me warily.

I sighed. “I drank last night with Liam and the others.”

Her eyes widened. “No Amit?”

Just hearing his name out loud sent my heart in a panic. “I think I should stop that.” I looked at the white tiling on my hallway floor instead of her shocked expression I knew would be there greeting me.

“What? Why?”

“It was only meant to be at a distance. Now, we’re hooking up, and I don’t want that.” It was a lie. It didn’t sound or feel real when I said it, but I left it at that.

She studied me before her smile widened. “No way… So soon? You’re falling for Amit!”

“No.” My heart hammered. “Don’t be crazy.” Following her into the kitchen, I grabbed the bag she placed on the island and plopped down on a stool. My heart ached some more when I thought of what Amit and I had done right here. The way some of his control had shattered. For me. “What did you bring?”

“Me.” Ma’s voice caused me to jump. She was carrying a shit ton of grocery bags.

“She wouldn’t let me help her,” Jayne shot her a disapproving frown. “Your mom is a badass.”

Ma saw me and stopped. “Why do you look like you’re about to cry?” she asked, and I got up and pulled her into a giant hug. She dropped the bags with a grunt. “What’s with you?”

“I love you, and I’m so happy you’re out and here with me. Know that if something ever happens to me, knowing you’re alive and well is enough.”

“Don’t go talking like that.” She shoved me away, and I grinned up at her.

I found a way to say a little of what needed to be said.

________

“You sure you’re okay?” Jayne asked after putting on her shoes. “You didn’t even go to the studio today.”

“You’re always asking that lately. I’m fine.” I shoved her out the door with a smile. “You sure you don’t want to stay, Ma?”

“Hell no. I like my privacy. We’d only get on each other’s nerves.” I sighed as she got into Jayne’s car.

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