1 year 4 months prior…
Come home for the summer!
Are you coming home for the summer?
Okay, it’s final, you’re coming. Make sure to bring Tammy.
That was the sort of texts I’d been sending Benjamin over the last month, and it wasn’t even summer break yet. He didn’t come home for Christmas last year, so I hadn’t seen him since last summer.
The distance between us was vast all of a sudden. I only wanted to stop depending on him, I hadn’t wanted to cross him out of my life completely.
He was still the same guy I knew over text messages, but he didn’t call or come home... Ever since that incident where he kissed my forehead, and I kissed his cheek in return. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t see him that way, but that would make it sound like I was defending myself when I didn’t have a reason to. He kissed my forehead. Why couldn’t I do the same?
He was being a turd. He was the only one thinking too much about it…almost a year later. He shouldn’t feel guilty. We weren’t like that. He was dating Tammy, and the fact that they’d been together so long told me he cared for her. They probably loved each other.
But because he was being so distant with me, it made me obsess over it. We were growing apart…even more.
I knew it was inevitable. I also knew it was needed, but I still went on about it, anyway.
Me:Fine. Don’t come home
Benjamin:I probably will. I just gotta see if we’re going to see Tammy’s parents or not.
That was him dismissing me.
Benjamin:How’re things with Roger?
I’d been dating Roger since our first date back in August. He was funny, sweet, and capable. A bonus: he was older, worked, and provided for himself. He didn’t live with his parents like I did with Dad.
But that was another thing.
Me:He asked me to move in with him.
Benjamin already shared his apartment with Tammy, so I thought telling him would help me somehow.
Benjamin:U going 2?
Me:I don’t want to leave Dad alone ;(
Benjamin:He’s doing great, ain’t he?
Me:Amazing.
Benjamin:Do u want to move in with him?
Me:I think I’d like living with him.
Benjamin:There’s your answer.
______
A couple months later…
Me:Did you get the pic I just sent you?
Benjamin:Downloading…
Benjamin:Is that my dad and your dad putting something together in my parents’ yard?