Page 12 of Just Enough

“To grow up?”

He flicked his eyes over me. “No, it’s not that. My personality requires me to give myself all the attention that’s why running a business or even dating isn’t easy for me.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Benjamin did have a lazy personality trait and he only ever did what he wanted, but he definitely had what it took to date and love someone, even marry and have kids one day. I should know. He’d been watching after and caring for me our whole lives.

“Everyone’s like that, besides you’ll meet someone who will grab your attention from yourself and maybe she’ll keep it for the rest of your life.”

He squinted one eye at me and shrugged. “I’ve probably already met her. She just doesn’t know it.”

I laughed. “Benjamin, it’s you that’s supposed to know she’s the one when you meet her.”

He was a nut.

Smirking, I leaned over and grabbed one of the beers from the desk and held one out to him waggling my brows. “Enough about this, it’s time for you to drink with me.”

“I’m not drinking with you.” He shook his head, fighting his smile.

I sighed. “Why won’t you ever drink?”

“I do drink.”

“I know,” I grumbled. “Just not with me.”

He never went to any parties, but I did know that when he’d go to his buddy’s house in high school, he’d drink some with them because Sean would tell me about it the next week. I had access to alcohol all the time since my dad was an alcoholic yet I’d only had a couple of drinks here and there. The few times I had were with my exes because at the time I had wanted to feel older.

Now, I just wanted nothing more than to relax and get a nice buzz with Benjamin. I really wanted to get him drunk because I bet it’d be hilarious. We always had fun together, but I still wanted to meet drunk Benjamin. I wanted a good giggle. I’d never met a drunk Emily to know what she was like. The closest I’ve gotten was a small buzz, and I’d always stopped, a tight knot in my stomach stopping me from taking it any further every time.

He leaned forward and started scooting the chair toward me. “I’m probably not a good drunk, besides, I don’t want to lose all my inhibitions.”

I snorted by accident, and he started cackling. “Stop laughing,” I huffed through laughter. “And please, inhibitions, my ass.”

His expression sobered…seemed like a lifetime later, and he watched me with a hint of sadness. “You used to hate that your dad was drunk all the time growing up, I guess I can’t get myself to drink around you because of that.”

I straightened my back as my smile waned. I looked away from Benjamin’s penetrating gaze. Here we go, turning our fun night into an uncomfortable one.

“Yeah, but then I got older and realized that it was my father, and I just accepted that about him.” I finally looked at Benjamin and hated the look he was giving me. “Stop looking at me like that, Dad’s not a bad person, Benjamin.” I used my authoritative tone on him that I used on the handsy drunk men that I dealt with at Crash’s. “After the DUI, he stopped drinking and driving. He stays home where he bothers no one.”

Benjamin held his hands up. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

I met his eyes with a glare. I suspected why he acted this way. “You think I’m going to turn out that way? That I’m going to drink every day?” I voiced my own fear.

“I don’t think—”

“Jesus, Benjamin, the last time I drank anything was when I was dating Josh and it was only one. I’ve never been drunk!” I admitted, and Benjamin’s eyes widened.

“But all those parties…” he trailed off.

Feeling hurt, I turned away from him. “I’m not an idiot, there’s no way I’d get drunk with people I don’t know.”

“But you always went with someone you were dating.”

“Exactly, we know what poor choice I had in guys.”

He looked a little irked. “Fuck, Emily, if you were wary of drinking around them then why the hell were you dating them?”

I flinched at his words. “I don’t know,” I said miserably. For some reason, I gravitated toward the bad ones. Like they were something great, but it dulled so quickly that it was scary how fast even my brain couldn’t trick me into thinking they were something better than they were.

Now I stuck to myself. And it felt great not needing someone to not feel lonely. I had Benjamin and Katie, even Dad who I carried a conversation with every single day, mostly one-sided, but I counted it. And Mom… Ah, not so much.

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