Page 13 of Just Enough

“Come here,” Benjamin whispered, and I looked over to see him opening his arms wide and coming closer. I placed my foot up, and my leg stretched out between us.

“I don’t think so. Go back to your chair.”

He complied and watched me through dark eyes. “Let me hug you, I feel fucking horrible when I make you upset.”

I gave him a side-eyed frown then crossed my arms. “I only bug you about drinking with me because you’re the one person I’d want to get drunk with.” I faced him head-on because I needed him to see my sincerity while I said it. “I know that I’m safe, and I can get completely wasted, and you’d make sure nothing happened to me. You don’t understand, it’s what Ineedto let loose.” It was the truth.

I needed him like a fish needed air to survive.

I trusted him more than anyone.

After dating guys that didn’t know the meaning of the word no, and Josh who even forced himself on me after a guy spoke to me at a party, I knew not to give anyone the chance to take advantage of me. So, I didn’t.

“I’m such an ass,” he muttered, raising back up. “Come here.”

I sighed, feeling awkward now that I knew he was coming to hug and pet me.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

I let him drop down on the bed and wrap me in his huge arms. And I felt completely content when he did. I relaxed in his hold and breathed in his cologne that smelled so good. I closed my eyes and relished in the way I felt safest with him. “It’s okay. I’m used to your coddling by now. Just hate when you don’t have more faith in me. I’m not going to become some alcoholic like my dad, and I’m definitely not going to end up with an abusive husband.”

“I know you won’t.” His grip tightened around me. “I’d never let that happen.”

_______

Christmas arrived quicker than I liked. When it was over, I knew it’d be time to say goodbye to Benjamin again.

I didn’t get to see him today since he went with his parents to his grandparents’ house, something they did every year on Christmas Day.

His family celebrated Christmas with all of its light and cheer while mine never even put up a tree. It was hard not to feel envious when the holidays came. My mom stopped buying me a gift years ago. I chose to cook us something this year. Nothing too big because I didn’t want to spend a fortune on a meal that only Dad and I ate.

Mom was a picky eater and for someone that watched her own health and weight, she didn’t give much attention to her alcoholic husband or daughter. She’d been staying away lately, more than usual.

But it was weird that she wasn’t home on Christmas. The courthouse was closed, so she wasn’t working.

“Where’s Mom?” I plopped down on the couch as Dad reclined in his chair.

“She left earlier. I don’t know where she went.” I already knew that much.

I sighed. “It’s Christmas, where else would she be?”

He turned his head and looked at me like he seemed to be considering my words. “Huh? I don’t know. Try calling.”

I stood up and dialed her number on my cell when the front door opened.

“It’s freezing out.” Mom shrugged her jacket off and grabbed her arms.

“Where have you been?” I asked her.

“I ran to the gas station to get me some cigarettes,” she answered, and I frowned.

“Merry Christmas,” I grumbled.

She finally looked up, her eyes fell over me before she smiled. “Merry Christmas.” I watched her sniff the air and turn her head toward the kitchen. “Did you make something?

How did it take her that long to get cigarettes? “Yeah, it’s Christmas. Someone should cook something.”

She frowned at me. “What’s wrong, Emily?”

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