Page 80 of Holly, Jolly, and Oh So Naughty

I nod slowly. “Do you want my honest opinion?”

He meets my eyes. “Please.”

“I think if you want to reach out to her, then you should. But do it because you want to and not because you feel you have to. What she did to me is horrible and I will never forgive her for that, but you did lose your dad. Losing your mom, too, would be a lot to bear.”

“I think about that,” he says softly. “But I don’t know if she will ever change.”

“Maybe that’s what you need to do,” I say, lightly kissing his chin. “Be strong. Lay it out to her and see how she reacts. Then you can choose what to do without carrying that kind of guilt, y’know?”

James nods thoughtfully, then dips his head to kiss me.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

32

JAMES

Meeting my mother for lunch is oddly daunting. When I called to arrange lunch just before New Year’s, she was quiet on the phone and accepted immediately. We chose a place that was a few towns over because, in a twist that surprised no one, she wasin the area. Which was code for her traveling here for Christmas but not making contact.

Which is exactly like her.

I arrive at the cafe first and choose a table at the back, checking the closing time to make sure we don’t outstay our welcome. The week between Christmas and New Year’s is such a strange one. It’s almost like the world is stuck in a time bubble where things are still festive but the magic of anticipation is gone.

I stare out at the world, watching people wander past enjoying the cold weather and the snowy landscape without snowfall for the first time in over a week. There’s an odd jump of anticipation within my heart because I’m eager for this to be over so I can go home to my woman and my child.

“James?”

I didn’t even hear her enter, but suddenly, my mother is standing next to me, sliding leather gloves from her hands.

“Mother. Can I order you anything?”

“Just some tea, thank you.” She takes her seat, and I order a pot of tea for the table. It gives her time to adjust herself and get comfortable in a chair that I’m sure she thinks is beneath her.

By the time the teapot arrives, the red flush on my mother’s face has calmed and she gives me a tight smile. “I’m happy you called.”

“Seemed like the best thing to do,” I reply, focusing on pouring myself some tea. “The last thing I’d want is you turning up announced.”

Her cheeks flush at the dig and she clears her throat, spooning sugar into her cup. “I was in the area because your Uncle Arnold has property in the area,” she says tightly. “That’s all.”

“Mmm.” I keep my responses curt and drink while she pours. After she’s had a few sips of tea, I get right into it. “Listen. I invited you here because I feel like how I left things wasn’t entirely fair.”

My mother’s face floods with relief.

“But,” I continue before she can say anything, “cutting you off is very much still on the table.”

Her face falls. “Oh, James. How can you say something so cruel?”

“Because I’m angry, Mom. You tried to pay the love of my life to get rid of my child, and you hid all knowledge of it from me. Seven years I have wandered around, missing out on some of themost important steps in my daughter’s life, and I willneverget that back because of you.”

My hand shakes as I lower my cup.

“That pain of betrayal goes so deep I don’t know if I can ever forgive you, do you understand?”

To my surprise, she merely nods.

“But I said some things when emotions were high, and after Dad…” Sighing, I shake my head. “Anyway. So, I thought we should talk.”

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