Page 40 of A Wish for Us

“Please.” I swallowed the nerves that were beginning to rise. “There’ll be something from the dean.”

Professor Lewis kept the confused look on his face as he switched on his computer and read the email from the dean. I knew he had received it because I saw his face drop in sympathy—it was why I didn’t tell anyone.

He opened his mouth to speak. I beat him to it. “Working with Cromwell causes me more stress than I can cope with.” I gave him a smile. “I love your class, Professor. It’s my favorite.” He smiled back at that. But I hated the new way he was looking at me. Like I was damaged. Like I was a fragile doll that might break apart at any minute.

I looked around the office, at the pictures on his wall. At the painting of swirls of bright colors hanging above his desk. It reminded me of one of Easton’s pieces. I stayed staring at the picture but said, “I want to create music.” I huffed a laugh. “In all honesty, I’m not that good at it.”

“You’re a lyricist,” Professor Lewis said. He pointed at my file. “I read it.”

“I am.” I took in a breath, feeling my cheeks heat. That was something else I didn’t share. My love of words. Words that attached themselves to music until their meaning was only heard through song.

“I’m determined, Professor. To finish your class.” I sat straighter in my chair, hoping it would give me the confidence I was lacking at that moment.

“I plan to submit my composition at the end of the year with everyone else.”

“I’m sure you will,” he said encouragingly. It fueled the spark that forever sat within me and helped fill me with hope.

“But I can’t do that with Cromwell Dean.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I know you trusted me to help him. To push him to work for this assignment…but…”

“No need for further explanations, Ms. Farraday. I am fully aware of Cromwell’s attitude.” He scribbled something in my file then sat back in his seat. “Very well. It’s done.” He rubbed his hand over his stubbled chin. “Are you okay working alone?”

“I’m better that way.” I shrugged. “Years of practice have been forced on me.”

“Then, Ms. Farraday, I look forward to hearing how your composition progresses.”

A heaviness I didn’t know I carried lifted from my shoulders as Lewis granted me permission to break from Cromwell. It was quickly replaced by great fear. Fear that I would never be able to produce anything like Cromwell had played for me last night. But it didn’t matter. The main victory was that I was free of him.

I ignored the dull underlying ache that simmered underneath the strong sense of relief. I got up, seeing that class was about to begin.

“I wish you luck, Ms. Farraday. With everything.”

I gave Lewis a tight smile. “Thank you.”

I left his office and walked down to the classroom. Bryce was already sitting in his usual seat. He flashed me a wide smile when I climbed the two steps to join him. My stomach flipped, but not in nervousness or excitement. I knew it was because I had agreed to go out with him, finally. I really shouldn’t have. I was reacting to that night. To Cromwell and Kacey. But seeing Cromwell living life exactly on his terms made me determined to start doing things I had never experienced while I still could.

I simply couldn’t let myself or Bryce get too invested.

“You look beautiful,” Bryce said shyly as I took my seat next to him.

“I look tired,” I said and laughed. The dark circles under my eyes were getting worse. No amount of sleep would help with that. But he didn’t need to know it.

Bryce’s attention went to the front of the class. His smile slipped fromhis mouth and his face flushed with red. I knew who had walked in, just by Bryce’s reaction. I kept my eyes on my notepad. I was doodling around the margins, meaningless swirls. When Cromwell passed me, I smelled the spice of his cologne or whatever it was that made him smell that way. My heart leaped to my throat when I realized he’d stopped. My breathing increased in rhythm and my hand worked faster on my meaningless drawings.

I didn’t want to look up. I couldn’t, then… “Bonnie.”

I closed my eyes as Cromwell’s voice hit my ears. His voice was laced with sadness again, like it had been so many times when he’d briefly let me inside a little. When some of his armor had cracked.

But right now, I couldn’t let his rough voice in. Seeing him with Kacey had hurt. So I kept my eyes downcast. This, and the tiredness that was sapping me of my energy, was too much.

My shoulders were tense, cold shivers darting down my back. Finally, Cromwell walked up the remaining steps to his seat.

“Dick,” Bryce muttered under his breath. I pretended I didn’t hear that either.

Lewis walked into the room. “Turn to page two hundred and ten. Today we learn about concerto form.”

I did as instructed and managed to block Cromwell out completely. That was, until Lewis called his name at the end of the class. “Cromwell, I need to see you tomorrow at the end of the day.”

I gathered my things and got out of the classroom as quickly as I could. I knew what that meeting was about. “Bonnie!” Bryce caught up with me.

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