Page 41 of A Wish for Us

“Hey.”

“So tomorrow?” Bryce rubbed his neck again. I realized this was his nervous tell.

“Tomorrow,” I echoed.

“How’s eight at Jefferson Coffee?”

“Perfect.” I relaxed a bit. I knew the coffee place inside out. It would make the date easier for me to go on. I would be there on Saturday too, but the Saturday crowd was never made up of students. Saturday was for the Barn around here. It made going to the coffee house two nights in a row more bearable. No one knew me.

He laid his hand on my arm and squeezed. “See you then.”

“You too.” I watched him go. He was nice. Kind. And that’s exactly what I needed to tick this experience off my list. Someone who didn’t make me feel worse than I already did. Instead, they’d show me what a real date was.

I reached into my purse for my chewing gum. It wasn’t until I looked up that I saw Cromwell leaning against the wall across the hall, outside Lewis’s office. He was close enough that he would have heard me and Bryce talking.

He was glaring at me, a pinched, almost angered expression on his face. I didn’t care. Because all I could see when I looked at him was Kacey half naked in his bed and his unkempt state as he answered the door.

Shoulders straight, I walked past him and into the fall air. The cool breeze was no comfort to my starved lungs. I wasn’t sure there was any remedy for the way my body always reacted to Cromwell. Distance was the only thing that would help.

So I planned to keep far, far away. As I looked behind me, I saw him smoking beside the door, eyes locked on me. Only in this light, I saw the sadness shining through like a beacon. It made me lose a breath.

So I put my head down and walked to my next class.

And I didn’t look back again.

Chapter Twelve

Cromwell

“What?” I wasn’t sure I’d heard that right.

“You’ll be working alone from now on,” Lewis said. “I’ve decided to separate you and Ms. Farraday. The pairing wasn’t working. You weren’t producing anything that could be submitted.” He shrugged. “Some people just aren’t suited creatively. I made an executive decision to allow you to work on your compositions alone.”

I stared at Lewis, stunned. She didn’t want to work with me anymore. My stomach fell and I shifted on my seat. Her face on Wednesday flashed in my mind. When she’d stood at the door and saw me, saw Kacey in my bed. I shifted in my seat again when a stab sliced through my chest.

Bonnie had been hurt. I saw it in her brown eyes.

I’d hurt her.

I’d sent Kacey home later that night. I hadn’t even tried to get back into it. Back into what we’d been doing before the knock came. I couldn’t. All I saw was Bonnie’s face. Even drunk off my face, I knew I’d fucked up.

As I sat here now, my shoulder burned. Right over the exact spot where she’d put her hand on me and I’d lost myself in the music. It had sucked me under to the point that I wasn’t even aware of what I was playing. And I’d been playing that piece. The one I never wanted to touch again.

Bonnie had heard it.

No one ever had but me.

“Cromwell,” Lewis said, pulling me out of my own head.

“Fine. Whatever.” I left his office and stormed through the corridor. The few music students left knew to give me a wide berth. Bonnie was gone frommy life. I should have been okay with it. It was what I wanted. I’d pushed her away like everyone else.

But my body was a live wire. And I couldn’t let it go. I worked better alone. Always had. But the thought of her not being there…

I sparked up a smoke and walked home. But with every step I got more and more agitated. I knew Bonnie had done this somehow. She’d made Lewis drop me. I pushed through the door to my dorm. Easton was out. Good.

I sat at my desk and fired up my new laptop. I cracked the window so the fire alarm wouldn’t go off when I lit up another cig. With my headphones over my ears and blocking out the world, I let the colors lead me in the beats.

I closed my eyes, and the pulsing shapes of vivid colors took form. I followed the patterns, let them control my fingers as I slammed the keys and drum machine, chasing the painting on the backdrop of the black canvas.

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