Page 66 of A Thousand Broken Pieces

“I love you,” Cael said and ran the tip of his nose down my cheek. I knew he was feeling this strange new turn in our relationship too. Like we were soldered together, unable to be parted. My heart was beating a rhythm of his name, wanting to brand him to my soul. I wanted him closer somehow. No,needed it. Craved it. I wanted him to know every part of me. I wanted our souls to collide. I tried to pinpoint when we had reached this new turn in our relationship. It had been coming on so gradually that it had snuck up on us both silently. But it could have been the way we had both opened to each other, bearing our fears and deepest scars. It could have been how we had learned to trust one another by holding each other up in our times of need. Or it could be the laughter we had shared when we allowed ourselves to be free and temporarily unburdened by grief.

Or it could simply be that we finally understood that we were soulmates, and only sharing a lifetime could possibly make us closer than we already were.

Cael kissed me then. It was deep and all consuming, but there was an affirming touch to it too. It was a kiss that I could feel changed us. A kiss that promised a future, a partner, a bright soul to help carry us through any path of darkness we may encounter.

Cael’s hand wrapped loosely around my ponytail. “I can’t believe I met you,” he whispered against my lips. Familiar flutters dove through my body. Butterflies that answered solely to the command of Cael’s kisses and touch. “Every day I wake up, and I thank the universe that it brought you to me.” Cael shook his head as in disbelief. “How have I been so lucky?” He exhaled. “I don’t deserve you, Sav. And I won’t ever take you for granted.”

His heartfelt words made me breathless.

Cael kissed and kissed me. He kissed me until the crowds dispersed and the first part of the day was done, a spilled rainbow on the ground the only evidence of the celebration that had taken place. When Cael lifted his head, I stared into his eyes and saw my love and affection pouring right back at me.

He was my mirror in every way.

We hung, suspended in the moment, air crackling around us. In this moment, an incredible urge took hold of me. The laughter, the color, the love that had been launched in the very air around us heightenedeverything. I wanted toseizelife. I wanted to reach out for it and never let it go, live it while I was here, happy and healthy and wrapped in gratefulness. Grateful for my health and this boy who held my heart so carefully in his cradled palms.

Cael’s bright eyes spoke of the same need. I laughed again as I took in the sight of us. Cael’s wide smile graced his face once more. He had a tiny dimple that appeared. I hadn’t seen it before. I hadn’t seen him smile so big. It was perfection, his dimple …

That seemed to match mine too.

“We’re a mess,” I said and tried to brush away some of the powder from our clothes and skin. It didn’t help. We were caked in a smorgasbord of colors.

Cael’s head tipped to the side. “You look like the Aurora Borealis,” he said, and my breath caught in my chest. We did. Both of us. Another memory I would treasure for a lifetime. Especially as Cael had been there with me then too.

Cael slipped his hand into mine. “Let’s go back to the hotel, Peaches.” He silently led me from the secluded alcove and into the streets as this new aura danced around us. Residual laughter could still be heard in the distance from the ghats. This city, where life met death, was a marvel. It made life not feel like such a scary place. Because that’s what I had been—scared of living after Poppy’s passing. Terrified of my small, comfortable life changing. But lifedidchange. That’s what Varanasi taught loudly and out in the open.

Life changed. People changed. That was the journey of humankind. One that we had no choice but to embrace.

I went back to my room and showered, still smiling at the colors smothering the clear water as it circled the drain. When I was clean, I put on another white outfit. I left my damp hair down and in loose curls and joined the rest of the group in the rec room. Cael was talking to Travis. He was still smiling, still energized.

And I was still madly, hopelessly in love with him.

“You look at him like I looked at Jose,” Dylan said quietly, suddenly appearing at my side.

“Dylan …” I said, when my heart fell. I didn’t want to cause Dylan pain or discomfort through my relationship with Cael.

Dylan shook his head. “No. It’s agoodthing, Sav. It’s …” He swallowed. “It’s beautiful to see. It gives me hope too, you know? That maybe one day I could have it again.”

I threw my arms around his waist and held him. “You will. I know youwill. You’re too amazing to not have it again when you’re ready.” Dylan kissed the top of my head.

“What have I told you about kissing my girl, Dylan,” Cael said, humor in his voice. I stepped back from Dylan when Cael playfully pulled me into his arms. He immediately cocooned me and kissed me on my cheek. I was filled with instant warmth, and that static that had risen between us was still there—stronger, if possible. Dylan jokingly rolled his eyes.

“If everyone is ready, let’s head down to the river,” Mia said. All the group was squeaky clean after the earlier celebrations, only a few patches of faded color staining our skin, that I felt would take many more showers to dispel. Cael kept me wrapped tightly in his arms. Even the weight of that show of affection seemed easier for him today. I wanted to hold on to this side of Cael for as long as I could.

Lights flickered in the streets as dusk set in. It was peaceful, quiet, after a morning and afternoon of chaos. You could almost feel the sanctity of the festival thickening the air with every step you walked, only building when we reached a ghat and sat down upon the steps just to watch and drink in the culture. To observe a world far removed from our own.

“People will spend the evenings going to temples forPooja,” Kabir explained softly. I was in awe at the peace around us. At the quietness. I leaned my head on Cael’s shoulder and let my body absorb the stillness, the religious significance of this city to the people who have traveled here for an array of reasons. I became lost watching people move in and out of the temples. The sound of religious music filled the air, and I watched as holy men performed rituals on the stone steps we sat on. I saw how much this festival meant to them in their hearts and souls.

The night drew on, and I held tightly to Cael, mesmerized. I didn’t know if it was the high emotion of the day, the spirituality I could feel swirling in every inch of air, but I felt changed somehow.This was how Poppy must have felt, I thought, not for the first time. And experiencing the peace she lived with in her steadfast faith filled another part of the pit that sat in my heart.It’s why she wasn’t scared. I couldn’t have been more thankful that she had that faith, to help her face death with such bravery and grace.

Cael pressed a kiss on my head, and I tipped my chin to see him. Heturned his attention from the chanting holy men to me. Our gazes caught and something deeper burrowed within them. I couldn’t explain it. It was just …more. Some soul-level blessing that he brought to my life coming alive between us. Goose bumps broke out all over my body. But not from fear. Fromrightness. Like the universe I studied and adored so much was screaming at me that he was mine, and I was his.

I knew Cael was my forever. Maybe it was Poppy sending that confirmation to me. I didn’t want to live one more day where he didn’t know how truly loved and cherished he was.

I wanted to give him all of me. If losing Poppy had taught me anything, it was that time is fleeting. I no longer wanted to wait a single minute to show him how loved he was. So I curled into his side and counted down the seconds until we could be alone.

Once I was back in my room, I waited impatiently for Leo and Mia to do their final checks. When they had said their goodnights and gone to their own rooms, I got to my feet. I knew I was disobeying their rules and breaking their trust with what I had planned to do, but IneededCael. That was the only way I could explain it. I wanted to show him all my love, and in my heart, I felt that was worth the risk of being caught.

I had just reached the door when a soft, almost-nothing knock sounded on the other side. Confused at who that could be, I opened the door, only to find Cael on the other side. He was busy searching the hallway, clearly making sure he hadn’t been seen, when he met my eyes. He swallowed, looking beautifully nervous. He opened his mouth to speak, when I took his hand and guided him inside my room. I didn’t need an explanation for why he was here. I was feeling it too.

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