Page 67 of A Thousand Broken Pieces

I shut the door silently, then turned to face him. When our eyes met, nerves trickled through my veins. Not bad nerves, but nerves that were set alight and pulsing withlife. By the intensity in Cael’s eyes, I could see he wanted to be with me too. I watched him swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat underneath the tattoos that tried to disguise his grief. But I sawthe boy he was underneath. I had always been able to see who he truly was inside.

I took hold of Cael’s hand. “Sav …” he whispered, his deep voice filling the room with an unspoken question. I kissed his palm, then each of his fingers. His were shaking slightly. “Sav,” he said again, words evading him.

“I want this,” I said and closed the space between us. I brought my lips to his. Cael’s kiss was tentative, gentle, and so, so careful. He held me like I was fragile, a prized possession he couldn’t bear to part with. I felt that way about him too.

Without breaking from his lips, I slowly guided us to my bed. As we lay down, Cael lifted above me and met my eyes. He pushed my hair back from my face. “Are you sure?” he said, checking it was what I wanted.

“Yes,” I said, voice strong with conviction. But I swallowed some trepidation when I said, “I’ve … I’ve never done this before.”

His forehead pressed to mine. “Neither have I.” I burst with light, exhaling the last of any nervousness that lived in my heart.

“I love you,” I said and slowly lifted his shirt over his head.

“I love you too,” he said and reached into his jeans’ back pocket for his wallet. He took out protection, and I waited for more of my nerves to hit. But they didn’t come. My conviction held strong.

I was done with being scared of everything and anything, of not embracing life’s moments because of fear. Instead, I wanted to embraceloveand all that it brought—the joy, the wonder, the headiness. I wanted Cael more than breathing, and I wanted to be with him in every way.

I wanted tolive.

With adoration in his silver-blue gaze, Cael kissed me and melted against my body, making me completely his. He held my hands, squeezing them twice. My heart bloomed as he did. And he kissed me, soft and sweet. He treasured me, respected me, and cared for me more than I believed possible.

He made me his until we were one existing soul. Nothing had ever felt so special.

Afterward, he held me to his chest and kissed my head. I ran my hand up his sternum and to the ship that was tattooed into his pale skin. Cael’s fingers stroked through my hair, playing with the curls the humidity brought out. I’dnever felt so at peace. So content. I closed my eyes when I realized my mind had calmed. It brought tears to my eyes.

“Sav?” Cael said, stilling when my tear hit his chest and ran down his stomach. He lifted my head toward him with a finger under my chin. Worry etched his features when I met his gaze.

“My thoughts are calm,” I whispered, a watery smile pulling on my lips. Cael studied me closely, until I saw he understood what I meant. And that it was a good thing.

“Yeah?” he said in a hushed whisper and ran his fingertip down my cheek. Love shone from his every movement. I never wanted to be parted from this boy ever again.

“My anxiety …” I paused, trying to explain. “My head is always full, thoughts racing. It makes me feel out of control. Overwhelmed.” I smiled and studied the tattoos on his stomach. “Now …” I trailed off and threaded my fingers through his. I looked up at him again. “With you … like this,” I said, blushing. Cael’s lip tugged up, showing a hint of a smile. I’d come to understand that he loved it when I blushed. “When I’m with you, it calms.”

Cael cradled my cheek with his free hand. “Because your heart knows I’ll protect you.” He swallowed, showing vulnerability. “That I’ll always keep you safe.” His voice turned gravelly. “That I’ll never stop loving you.” My chest bloomed with warmth. “Because I couldn’t love you more if I tried.” Cael shifted down until we were facing one another. He kissed me, and I knew after tonight nothing between us would ever be the same. I had given him my heart to hold, and he had given me his.

But I trusted Cael to keep it safe—to keep me safe. I trusted him with everything I was.

Cael pulled me back into his chest, and I lay against him. I cherished this boy. He understood me, and I understood him. Our path to healing was still ongoing and I didn’t know what lay ahead, but right now, in this moment, we were, for once, at peace. Minutes and minutes ticked by, until Cael said, “I better go back to my room, Peaches. I don’t want us to get in trouble.”

“Okay,” I said but held him tightly just for a few more seconds. Cael’s affectionate chuckle made me smile. He dressed, and leaning down, he placed his hand on my cheek and kissed me so softly my heart melted.

“See you tomorrow, baby,” he said, then went to the door, looking back at me over his shoulder before he snuck back into the hallway and returned to his own room.

I lay back in my bed and felt so happy I thought I would burst. I knew I wouldn’t be getting any sleep and wanted so badly to shout my love for Cael from the rooftops. I wanted everyone to know we had fallen in love, and it felt incredible. So, I reached for my phone and called the person I knew would understand the gravity of what had just happened. Ida answered on the second ring. “Savannah!” she said, her happiness radiating through my cell phone.

“Ida …” I whispered. “I have so much to tell you …”

Breaking Hearts and Letting Go

Savannah

Varanasi, India

A few days later

THE SYMPHONIC CHANTS FROM THE PRIESTS DRIFTED TO OUR BOAT ON THEGanges. It was our final night in India, and we were attending the ceremony of Ganga Aarti, a daily religious ceremony at dusk where priests thanked the river Ganges for its purification qualities. They blew conches, rang bells, and clanged cymbals.

It was utterly majestic.

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