Page 56 of A Thousand Broken Pieces

Cael nodded his head, like he’d desperately needed to hear that. He took hold of my hand. “What was she like? Poppy?”

Branches of love began to grow inside of me, blotting out sadness. I smiled, even though my lips shook. I just missed her so much. “She was kind,” I said quietly. I gripped Cael’s hand tighter. “She was beautiful. And she was so encouraging.”

I swallowed back the gutting emotions that were threatening to steal my words. For the first time in such a long time, Iwantedto talk about Poppy and how wonderful she had been. “She encouraged me more than anyone in my life. She was my anchor. She was the person who helped pull me out of the shell I so naturally hid inside.” I laughed when Ida’s face came to mind. “My younger sister, Ida, is like that too.” My stomach fell. “But I haven’t really let her in since Poppy died.” Tears built in my eyes. “I haven’t been the big sister to her that Poppy was to us both.”

“You’ve been hurting,” Cael said, running his finger up and down my cheek.

“So has she,” I said, the truth of that fact making me fill to the brim with guilt. “It was Ida who persuaded me to come here.” I met Cael’s eyes. “The truth is, I haven’t been myself since Poppy died.”

A thought I had always kept secret screamed to be let out. Cael was searching my face, like he knew I wanted to say something too. Kissing his hand, I then ran my fingers over his tattooed knuckles and said, “Sometimes …” I took in a shallow, shaky breath. “Sometimes I think it’s me who should have died.” My heart kicked into a sprint as those private words became shared. “Poppy was so full of life. She had Rune. They would have married. They would have had the most beautiful life together. True soulmates.”

I flicked my eyes around the dark in the room. I knew Leo was listening to our every word, but I didn’t mind. Maybe it was time I shared it with him too. “Ida is like Poppy. They are so vibrant. Being around them is being smothered with happiness and hope. Me …” I trailed off. “I’m quiet, reserved.” My breath stuttered. “The world would have continued without me. No great ripple of sorrow or unfairness would have occurred if I’d slippedaway, as quietly as I lived. No one would have truly been affected if I had been the one to fall victim to sickness.”

“I would have,” Cael said. His voice was no longer weak but so bold and full of conviction that I couldn’t help but look at him. He was deadly serious; I could see that in his silver-blue depths. “My world would have been affected, Savannah. I would have wandered through my life wondering why there was a sudden ache in my heart. My life would have been unfulfilled because you had never stepped into it like you were always meant to.”

“Cael …” I said, choked with emotion, and he leaned in and kissed me. His hand met my cheek and his fingers threaded into my hair. I kissed him back and tried to absorb all of what he had said. My heart had swelled in my chest at his words. And I returned the sentiment. Cael had stepped into my life and spliced his soul with my own, two hearts sharing one valve. It was heady and overwhelming but joyous and almost too much of a sensation to bear.

He pulled back and joined his forehead to mine. “I would have forever felt you were missing, Peaches. And I would have searched every inch of the world and beyond, trying to find you.” Cael reared back an inch. His face was serious, and searching my eyes, he whispered, “I love you, Savannah Litchfield. I’m so goddamn in love with you.”

My heart fired like a cannon. Butterflies that were solely tied to Cael’s voice swooped and spread their wings so wide I could feel them in my fingertips. “I love you too,” I said, no doubt in my heart. It was full to the walls with Cael. He was in my marrow and blood, my every cell. The smile that spread on his face was blinding. And he kissed me again. He kissed me so softly and thoroughly that I wondered how we would ever come up for air.

Cael wrapped me up in his arms. I fit beside him perfectly, like the universe made us to match. Cael held our joined hands up between us, playing with my fingers. A deep cavern buried within me. Was this what Poppy had felt like with Rune? Is this how Rune felt about her in return? If so, how had they ever survived it? How had Rune managed to carry on with his soulmate being taking away from him?

“I tried to convince myself that it was all a big mistake,” Cael said, never taking his eyes from our moving fingers. “I tried to convince myself that it was an accident and that Cillian didn’t choose to leave us.” He swallowed andI waited patiently for him to continue. “But when I went home that night, I walked into my bedroom and saw an old Bruins game ticket on my desk. It was the first game we’d ever gone to together when we were kids. I’d pinned it to my wall after we’d come back. A memory I wanted to cherish forever.”

My pulse raced faster and faster. “He’d written seven words on the back.” Cael’s voice was briefly stolen by grief before he cleared his throat and said, “I couldn’t do it anymore. I’m sorry.”

As those words sailed into the air between us, I wanted to reach out to them and hold them within my palm. Theyradiatedpain. They radiated such sadness, tears tracked down my cheeks.

I pulled Cael closer and placed our joined hands on my chest, over my heart, and cradled them there instead. “I still have that ticket, Sav. In my wallet. I keep it with me always. But I haven’t looked at it since that night.” Cael sounded exhausted. “When I read it, I knew what the police and paramedics were suspecting was true. What I hadseenwith my own two eyes was true. He’d taken his own life.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said, those words sounding more than inadequate.

“I can’t bring myself to look at it again, Sav.” Cael sounded so tortured.

“You once told me there was no timeline with grief. You need to give yourself that same grace,” I said, kissing his cheek and brushing my nose past his.

“I love you,” he said, and his eyelids began to grow laden with exhaustion.

“I love you too,” I whispered, inviting in the silence of the night.

Cael kissed my forehead and a deep, tired sigh sailed from his lips. He glanced at the open door, and his shoulders lost any remaining tension. He had told Leo all of that too. He had obviously wanted him to hear it.

It was progress.

Cael faced me again, eyelids heavy. In mere minutes he was asleep. But all I could think of was Cillian and the thought of Cael finding him—seeing him pass. Then I thought of Poppy and how peacefully she had died. It hit me then. Just how special that moment was. How her death truly had been special.

I looked at Cael on the bed, sleeping. He was so handsome. So kind and beautiful. And he loved me. Cael Woodsloved me. And I loved him too.

I curled into Cael’s chest. And I fell asleep in the arms of the boy I adored.

Love Honored and Serene Sunsets

Savannah

Agra District

India

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