Page 10 of A Thousand Broken Pieces

For a moment, a brief moment, I had actuallyfeltsomething.

As if feeling my stare, Savannah took her gaze from the planes taking off outside and turned my way. Red immediately burst onto her cheeks under my attention, and that same pull inside of my chest yanked again. Then Dylan returned from wherever he’d been, and he dropped down beside her. He passedher a bag of chips. The small smile she gave him, this time, made me tense. Savannah … she was stunning. There were no bones about it. She was beautiful, but if it was even possible, she seemed more closed off than me. The quietest of the group by far, and that was saying something. Dylan leaned in and said something to her I couldn’t hear, and she huffed out an amused laugh.

I felt another pull in my heart. And I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to feel again. I had grown used to the fire. Preferred it to those agonizing early days after Cill …

Travis sat down beside me, breaking me from the spiral I was about to go down. I looked over to the redhead, thick, black-framed glasses sitting on a pale face full of freckles. “You want one?” he said and held out a box of Twizzlers.

“No,” I said sharply and looked back to Savannah again. Dylan was still talking to her. She simply replied with nods and kind smiles.

I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

Travis cleared his throat. “So, no hockey this year?” I froze, his question as effective as a bucket of kerosene being thrown over my head. I turned to the boy about my age and felt fire swarm through my veins, hot and potent. It took me a moment to realize that everyone in our group was looking our way. I saw Savannah and Dylan watching us, Lili and Jade beside them, waiting for my answer.

“I don’t talk about hockey,” I replied, even more sharply this time. I glared at Travis, making damn sure he didn’t continue with this line of questioning, but he just nodded like my answer wasn’t laced with a threat to not continue down this road. In fact, he didn’t seem affected by my shitty attitude at all. And he was clearly a hockey fan.

Great. Just what I needed. Someone who knew my past.

Travis took another bite of his Twizzlers and casually said, “I like data.” He pointed at himself. “Math nerd.” He ignored my dark expression. “Sports makes for some of the best data.” He shrugged. “I watched some of your junior hockey games while gathering it. I recognized your face the minute I saw you, and your name, of course.” A flicker of sympathy filled his brown eyes and I saw it—he knew why I was here. If he followed hockey, if he followed my stats, maybe Harvard’s stats too, then he wouldknow.

That was the part I could never escape from now. What happened to Cill … it had been huge news in the sports world. In the hockey world, it was the biggest shock in recent years. The biggest tragedy.

But in my personal world … it was Armageddon.

I jumped up from my seat, cutting him off before he could say anything else. I felt the group’s eyes on me as I did, could feel the same pity directed at me, the same way they had looked toward Savannah earlier. Spotting a coffee shop, I beelined for the long line. My fists were clenched at my side and I fought not to plow my fist through the nearest wall.

An addictive scent of almonds and cherries suddenly swarmed around me. When I turned to look behind me, Savannah was there,rightbehind me. Her wide blue eyes were focused on me. She had a blush to her cheeks again. My chest tightened, threatening to feel something, but I pushed it away. I couldn’t deal with feelinganythingright now. Not after being reminded of my bro—

“What?” I snapped, my voice laced with venom.

Savannah looked shocked by my attitude. “A-are you okay?” Her nervous, sweet voice sailed into my ears and hit me like a freight train. She was southern. Bible Belt, I’d guess. Her country accent wrapped around the vowels of her question like silk, soft and melodic. The opposite to my harsh Massachusetts brogue which cut like glass.

“What do you care?” I bit out, voice hard. “Just go back to the group and leave me alone.” I turned back to the line, feeling my stomach turn for some inexplicable reason. I didn’t care that I’d snapped at her. Ididn’t. I felt her presence behind me like that of an angel—comforting, caring, calming. But I didn’t want that. Iwantedto sear, wanted to stay incinerated. I waited a few seconds, then couldn’t help but look behind me. I caught her retreating to the lounge where the others waited, head slightly bowed.

She’d clearly gotten the message.

Ordering a coffee, I had barely made it back to the lounge when the announcement to board the plane came through. Mia handed us each a ticket and we fell into line. I held on to my coffee and broken bag and ignored everyone else. I saw Savannah with Dylan two spots in front of me and tried not to let guilt creep into my heart. She’d only been checkingon me. I couldn’t remember anyone in a long time even caring anymore. I’d successfully pushed everyone I loved away. But she had tried …

It didn’t matter. I didn’t need her or anyone in my life.

Like cattle, we were led to the plane, and I huffed a disbelieving laugh when I arrived at my seat. It was one of the plane’s middle seats, in a row of four. My three companions were already seated—the free seat was between Savannah and Travis, Dylan next to Savannah on the aisle.

Perfect.

I sat down, stowed my bag under the seat in front of me, and went to put on my headphones. Before I could, an elbow nudged me. Travis. “I’m sorry,” he said and pointed to his mouth. “Sometimes I forget how to keep this shut. I need to learn how to not say everything that comes to my head out loud. I shouldn’t have mentioned anything.” The guy looked so guilty that I couldn’t stop some of my irritation from falling away.

“I don’tevertalk about hockey,” I said again, making sure to hammer that point home, then put on my headphones, my music immediately drowning out all noise. I closed my eyes and didn’t intend to open them again until we landed. But as the scent of almonds and cherries sailed past me again, I cracked an eye open and caught Savannah nervously looking my way. And I didn’t know what propelled me, but I found myself answering her question from the coffee shop line. “I—” I took a deep breath, then said, “I’m fine …” In a break between songs, I caught her hitch of shocked breath. “Thanks,” I tacked on awkwardly.

A flicker of what seemed like relief passed in Savannah’s gaze, and she nodded, focusing back on the paperback in her hands. I didn’t pay attention to what it was; I was too busy trying to keep my eyes closed and not picture her pretty face and the way she’d just looked at me.

Like she cared.

The Lake District, England

Frost clung like white lace to the many gray walls we passed, walls made up by layers and layers of ancient brick. Tiny, windy roads tested the drivingskills of the bus driver, fat drops of rain pelting against the windows as we swayed side to side on uneven asphalt roads littered with potholes, trying to reach our destination. Small, old buildings sat dotted around fields that stretched for miles and miles, only a mass of sheep and cattle in residence. I gripped on to the edge of the seat, counting down the minutes until we got to the accommodation. I hated being in any kind of car or bus for too long.

I stayed transfixed at England spread out before me, trying to take my mind off everything. I’d never been here before. And I’d only ever heard people talk of London and other major cities when it came to the UK. Apparently, we were going to be far, far away from any of them. Good. I didn’t want to be near masses of people.

Out here in the rural countryside, the skies were moody and overcast, no sun in sight. The air was frigid, and in only the short walk from the airport to the bus, that cold wind cut deep to my bones. But I had a fondness for that sensation—for a moment, it reminded me of how it felt when I stood out on the ice. Warm breath turning into white mist with every measured exhale, the bitter and brutal chill slapping against your skin like a whip made of a thousand blades.

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