Page 29 of Always Be an Us

"Wait here." Without thinking, I head to the nurse station tapping the table lightly when I reach.

Three nurses, two women and a slender man, fall silent and stare at me. The older woman practically gapes.

"The hospital bill," I say. "How much is it?"

"Erm... we don’t know," she responds. "We haven’t tallied it up yet plus we have to send some of it to insurance..."

"Put this card on file," I say, pulling out my black card and placing it on the table in front of her. "Anything comes up, just charge that."

"Oh...ok." She seems a little flustered as she reaches for the card. The male nurse sizes me up and I raise an eyebrow before he looks away. The nurse with the card then starts typing up the details as I give her the billing information.

Once I'm done, I return to my daughter. Thankfully she waited for me in place, eyes trained on the curtain.

"Let’s go," I say, directing her to the car. Part of me is reluctant to leave Emma here alone, but I don’t think we should stay either.

On the car ride home, I finally remember the argument with Amelia.

"Did you mean what you said?" I ask quietly, the car humming. "You hate that I have custody?"

Amelia looks down at her hands and purses her lips. I prepare myself. I won’t lie, that comment cut deep. I’m not prone to emotionality but hearing my daughter say that…

"I love you, Dad," she says, finally looking at me. "But the truth is that sometimes I hate when I'm with you. I feel like I’m in prison. You just keep me locked up and don’t let me do anything or have any fun. I have to take Sandy everywhere, and sometimes I just want to be by myself."

She sighs. "I don't like any of Mom's fashion stuff, but at least when I go to work with her, she lets me move around on my own."

"Your mom gives you too much freedom," I say. "And I'm only like this because I don’t want anything to happen to you. You get that, right?"

"Yeah." Amelia sighs heavily, lapsing into another silence.

I'm quiet too, but my mind is working. No matter what, I will keep protecting my daughter. Still, I don't want her to be miserable for the rest of this trip, either. Or the rest of her childhood, for that matter.

I need to figure something out.

Chapter Nine

Emma

I watch my grandpa's pale face as the monitors beep at his bedside. His chest slowly rises and falls but all I can see are the tubes going in and through him, the consistent reading on the monitor, and the red light that comes on every once in a while.

He’s breathing properly now with the help of the machines and God.

But he might not be able to do so for long.

I blow out a breath and rest my forehead in my hands wondering what the fuck I’m going to do now. Grandpa needs surgery. Surgery costs money which we don’t have. Heck, we probably don’t even have any money for this current emergency room visit. Insurance should cover some of it but what if it doesn’t?

I feel my heartbeat slipping out of my control again and remind myself to breathe. I’m no use to Grandpa right now if I keep panicking. He needs me to be strong and figure out a way to help him.

But I can’t figure it out. A part of me feels like a kid standing alone in the hospital waiting room as Grandpa goes in to identify what was left of my parents. Even though I was young at the time, I remember how scared and alone I felt for those few seconds standing there.

And then Grandpa returned. I saw the pure grief in his eyes, the tears tracks on his cheeks, but he hid it for my sake, swallowing it all back and giving me a tremulous smile instead.

"Grandpa, where are mom and dad?" I asked as he drew me into his arms.

"They’re fine," he told me. "But they had to go somewhere far away."

My eyes widened. "Without me? When will they come back?"

I saw something crack in his eyes. "They're not coming back. It's just me and you now, kid."

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