Page 22 of Never Say Yes To A Stranger

The problem with ice is that it sometimes thaws. Even just a little is too much. It’s too much in the wild. It’s too much inside me. If I were younger and had a few lesser brain cells, I’d file it under the stupid #nofuckingway bullshit, but I’m not younger, and unfortunately, I’ve always been too smart for my own good, and there’s no way I’m ever using a hashtag, even a mental one.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a blur rushes across the room and jumps onto my lap.

Absolute Unit Cat immediately starts treating me like I’m a living bowl of carbohydrates and punches dough on my legs. She circles a few times, puts her paws out, and promptly fills the room with the loudest cat snores I have ever heard.

All in the span of a few minutes.

I’m practically paralyzed. I don’t know what the procedure is for this. I don’t even like cats, but pushing off a sleeping animal, all warm and trusting and soft and still sleep-purring, feels wrong, even if she smells like a strange combination of liver and fish. It feels like something only an extremely cold-hearted bastard would do, and I don’t know if my levels are currently up to their regular standard.

Worse yet, Ignacia walks in with one foul-smelling brew in her right hand and a glass of water in her left and sees me getting all soft and mushy about the beast.

“Here.” She tiptoes in like she doesn’t want to wake up thecatand hands me the water. “Just in case drinking by osmosis didn’t leave youfullyhydrated, you might want to top up the old-fashioned way.”

She hands me the glass, and then the confounding, infuriating, and shocking woman gets on her knees with her mug clutched in both hands and looks at me with huge sky-blue eyes. “Beau, I’m worried. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. This isn’t a medical emergency.”

“But what about the rest of you?”

“Is this really about the night sweats? Last time I checked, it does happen to lots of people. Many, many people, actually.”

She shakes her head, and I don’t know how she does it, but it’s like those blues are boring a hole straight through my brain. “You’re here, and you’re doing this hot bedding thing. You wanted more nights, but then you act like youdon’twant them. Actually, you act like you’d rather take a lighter to your own sack as a very high-risk new way to manscape than be here.”

I haven’t even taken a sip of water, and yet I still very nearly spit it out. “Not my kink.” I’m going for casual, but I fail miserably. If we’re going to continually joke about sex, I might as well pretend I’m not at all affected by it. Because I’m not. I’m not affected. That would imply I’m capable of feelings and emotions, and alright, so it might technically be true, but the term technically is a long stretch.

“I think you’re not okay on the inside. And maybe it’s manifesting on the outside.”

“I think that’s not a real medical diagnosis,” I respond.

“Damn it.” Her jaw locks up, and she instantly turns into an avenging, war-like goddess. At the sight, my body wakes up from its self-induced slumber really fast. It’s only a vibration that rips through me, but it’s more than enough. “I don’t have to be a doctor to tell you that I think your heart’s a mess.”

“What heart?” I grunt.

“Beau.” I can’t take her saying my name like that. She’s touching my ankle now. My bare fucking ankle. A chill sweeps through me.

“Alright.” If you give people brutal honesty, it’s usually enough to shut them down as well as shut them up. “It’s as good as it’ll ever be, and I mean that in every sense. I get yearly checkups done, and they’re quite extensive. I take good care of myself. I eat well and exercise. In the other sense, I’ve gone to enoughtherapy to keep me moving forward, but it’s already been established that I’ll always be an asshole.”

“How has that been established?”

I snicker. “I blackmailed my sperm donors, aka my birth parents, for hush money.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t make you an ongoing asshole.”

“There’s a reason the term ‘rich asshole’ exists. Money corrupts people.”

“There’s a reason the term ‘asshole’ exists because anyone can be one.” Her hand briefly brushes along the top of my foot like she’s going to stroke my toes. It’s singlehandedly the most erotic thing anyone has ever done, and it’s not even my kink. I don’t have a specific kink.

Thankfully, the cat on my lap lets out a nocturnal fart that is both loud andpungent.

We both freeze. I’m scared to laugh because that would involve opening my mouth to inhale. I can’t believe that just happened. It’s eyewatering.

“Wow,” Ignacia gasps, breaking the silence first. I’m afraid to look at her. I don’t want to bust a gut hard enough to eject this beast from my lap because I might get some claws in things I really don’t want them in. She’s on my lap, after all. “I’m glad that was loud because you might have blamed me.” She tries to fan the stink away from herself.

The action makes me look at her, and when I see her eyes are watering, that’s all it takes. I’m going to laugh. I’m going to, and it’s going to be a great roar, and my dick is going to be eviscerated by Absolute Unit Cat’s murder mittens.

Maybe I wished too hard for a distraction. I already know I’m off my game, but clearly, I have no idea just howmuchuntil I hearfootstepsoutside. On the porch. A knock follows.

At four in the morning.

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