Page 62 of Another Postcard

“Brooklynn, I need to see your beautiful eyes,” he begged. I really hated to disappoint him, so I tried again and this time, I managed to get them open almost all the way, though they still felt droopy and sluggish. I slowly blinked and they started to feel a little lighter, so I did it again. After a few more, Levi started to come into focus. His aqua eyes stared down at me, the gems filled with worry. “There you are,” he breathed. He dropped his head so his brow was pressed to mine, his minty breath blowing lightly across my mouth. “You scared the fuck out of me.”

What? I tried to sift through my foggy brain and like a flood, the memories came crashing over me. “Baylee?” I asked, feeling the tears already building behind my eyes, my nose tingling.

“She’s fine, baby. They flew her home yesterday. She’s back at the hospital with a twenty-four-hour guard.” Unwanted moisture leaked from my eyes and I was too weak to even lift my arm to brush them away. Levi did it for me, tenderly sweeping his thumbs across my cheekbones and catching each tear.

“Miss Hawk.” A stranger’s voice interrupted. “It’s nice to see you awake.” His accent was thick and the words sounded funny. He didn’t use the right syllables, but somehow I could still understand him. I focused on the direction the voice was coming from and saw a tall, thin, dark-haired man with a mustache entering the room. He wore blue scrubs with a long white lab coat and a stethoscope hung around his neck. He was reading from a clipboard as he walked in but then he glanced at me and smiled. “How are you feeling? Are you in pain?” Those weird sounds again.

“Sì, un poco,” I replied automatically. Oh, for the love of—I was such an idiot. He was speaking Italian. Evidently, we were still in Rome.

“English,” Levi snapped.

“Scusa,” the doctor said. “I apologize. Your friends mentioned that she spoke Italian, I wanted to gauge her response to it. She shows no sign of head injury, but we can never be too careful. Now, let’s just check you over Miss Hawk.”

A nurse had followed him in and she raised the bed so I was sitting and started taking my vitals while the doctor put on his stethoscope and placed it on my chest. “Breath, signora.” I winced, remembering how much that had hurt the last time I did it. “It shouldn’t be painful, just a little weak.”

I slowly inhaled and found he was right. He moved the diaphragm around a few times, asking me to breathe each time. “Bene. You’re sounding clear. We’ll do another x-ray, but I don’t think you are retaining any liquid in your lungs or developing any kind of infection. If it stays clear, we’ll discharge you to go home tomorrow.”

He wrote something on the clipboard and hung it at the bottom of my bed. “They’ll be in to take you to Radiology shortly.” Then he and the nurse were gone and I was left alone with Levi.

He’d stepped away while they worked, but when they were done, he came back and perched on the bed beside me. He was so handsome. I loved him so much. But the ugly memories of our fight were clawing to the surface with all the rest.

“I don’t think I can take another scare like that, baby. Ever. It took at least ten years off my life.” His mouth quirked in a cute, lopsided smile that I loved. It reminded me of when he used to smile at Baylee like that.

My throat seemed to close in an instant, choking me, but I didn’t panic. I recognized it. The pain ripping me apart was in my heart and as the tears began to rain down, the choking feeling eased and was replaced by great big sobs. Levi scrambled onto the bed and carefully sat next to me, slipping his arms around me. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed my head every so often. But mostly, he just let me cry.

I felt a great wave of guilt, self-loathing, and grief swallow me whole. I had hurt Baylee. If I had only figured things out sooner, it might not have happened. I’d been so fucking blind. And so fucking stupid to give my heart to anyone, even my sister. The almost unbearable heartbreak I was enduring was completely of my own making. I should have learned from my parents. It was clear from what fuck-ups they’d been, and how they’d messed with Baylee’s mind, it was only a matter of time before I cracked too. The only way to protect myself and everyone else was to just stay away.

My fingers ached to feel the cool ivory keys of a piano under them. Music. It had always been my salvation. I needed to go back to the root of my soul and put my trust in the music that filled it. It was all I needed.

Don’t look at me that way, I needed the lie. I needed it like I needed to breathe.

My sobs were quieting, losing strength, the tears drying up. Levi rocked me and hummed a sweet tune until I started to doze off. I hadn’t quite fallen asleep when I was jostled fully awake as the orderlies came in to take me off to x-ray. It didn’t take long and we went back to my room. Levi was waiting, pacing with his hands shoved in the front pockets of his raggedy jeans. He looked adorable in his Green Day shirt that said American Idiot and I almost laughed, knowing he was being ironic on purpose. I didn’t laugh though, I was too physically and emotionally exhausted. They got me situated and hooked up to my IV, then Levi and I were alone again. He came back to sit beside me and brushed a few strands of my hair behind my ear.

“I’m not coming back,” I told him softly. Preferring to be bluntly honest and get this over with. I pressed the button for the nurse, hoping she would arrive before things got too messy.

“To where, baby? Rome?”

“The band. I’m done.”

He reared back, his face shocked. “What?”

“Us. Everything,” I pushed on. “I’m done. It was all a mistake anyway, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.”

I could see him gearing up to argue when the nurse arrived. She was a cheery looking woman with a swinging blonde ponytail, pink scrubs, and a smile bracketed with lines that showed she did it often. “Everything all right, signora?”

“I’m extremely tired,” I told her in Italian. “I think visitors will just exhaust me.” She nodded and glanced at Levi who was starting to look very frustrated at being left out of the conversation, before looking back at me. “Please,” I begged. “Could you just tell him visiting hours are over or something?” I blinked back my tears, but she still saw them and her eyes filled with sympathy.

“Si, signora. We’ll be giving you medicine soon anyway, it will pretty much knock you out. Should I tell him when he can come back?”

I shook my head. “I don’t want any visitors, per favore.”

She looked like she wanted to say something else, but she simply nodded and turned to Levi. “Signor, I’m afraid it is time for her medication and it will make her very sleepy. Visiting hours will be long over by the time she wakes. Let’s let her rest, sì?”

Levi turned to me, his eyes clouded with confusion and hurt lurking just behind it. I rolled to my other side, too cowardly to look him in the face while she kicked him out.

36

Levi

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