Page 61 of Hold Me Before You Go

His jaw ticked. “Don’t apologize for being hungry. Seeing you eat is a good thing. I’d be worried if you didn’t. You can have as much as you want, but my guess is, those bastards who took you didn’t feed you, correct?”

I nodded slowly.

He returned the nod. “You have to ease your body out of starvation.”

Starvation.

The word slammed into me like an oncoming train, blaring its horn, telling me to move. But I couldn’t. The tears were back now, and on instinct, I put my hand against my soft mid-section, needing to make sure it was still there, that I was still me, not the past version of myself.

The abused Carrie.

The used Carrie.

ThestarvedCarrie.

“You sound like you know what starvation feels like,” I pushed out thickly before I could stop myself, a single tear falling onto my cheek now.

His eyes held mine for a while.

When he answered, it was gentle, almost kind. “I do, and I know that you do too.”

I took a deep breath. “Did he tell you everything about me?”

Mags shook his head. “No, he didn’t. I only know about the food abuse, sweetheart.”

I dropped my head, looking down to my lap as another tear fell, falling and landing on the top of my hand. I watched as the tear shined, the light of the fire bouncing off it. “You know, I didn’t realize they hadn’t given me any food until I’d found that bag by the fence,” I admitted, staring at the now-golden tear.

He said nothing.

“Your body never forgets,” I whispered, more to myself than to him.

Silence stretched between us, and when I finally had the courage to look at him again, my chest caved in. He’d set his plate down, leaning forward, resting his arms on his knees, studying me with a soft expression. “Your body never forgets,” he murmured.

He’d heard me.

I nodded, more tears falling now as I pressed my lips together.

“I really want Grayson now, please,” I rasped.

Mags nodded. “Denver is working with Jigs to get the radio working. Once they can get signal, we can get a message out to Red Snake. They’re in Denver.”

“And where are we?” I asked.

“Outside of Hayden. He’s only three hours away, Carrie.”

I crumbled then. There was nothing I could do to stop it. I buried my head in my hands as a wretched sob left me, shaking my entire body. Grayson was three hours away.

Three.

Hours.

Away.

My choked sobs filled Mags’ cabin, and I muffled out an apology. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, Mags. I’ve just—I thought—”

“Been in captivity before, Carrie. You don’t need to explain yourself to me,” he said.

My head snapped up, and through my tears I saw him carrying his plate back to the kitchen. He washed off his plate, downed the rest of his water, and set the glass in the sink before turning to me. “Eat what you can, okay? I’m heading up to the main house to grab some of Val’s clothes for you.”

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