Page 22 of Hold Me Before You Go

That wasn’t her voice. It was a different voice, one I’d heard long ago, one that had been my beckon of hope, belonging to my savior.

“Fuck, Mags, I don’t know what to do,” Hayes’ voice sounded off somewhere in the distance.

They didn’t belong in this nightmare. Why were they here?

A second later, I felt something against my ear, followed by a familiar voice. “Grayson, get out of it,” Mags’ voice ordered sharply.

“They have her,” I told him, closing my eyes, finding peace in the darkness. The images were gone.

“And we’re getting her back,” he barked. “Get the fuck up and fight, Grayson.”

“Mags,” I pushed out, rocking back and forth now. “They’re going to slice her open…”

He cursed, and then his voice lowered. “Gray, listen to me. Those men are dead. You know that. You know they’re in hell. Who put them there?”

I blinked, and I found myself back in the office again, my team standing above me, Hayes on his knees beside me, his eyes wide with fear. The nightmare was fading now.

“Dammit, Gray,” Mags barked on the phone. “Answer the question.Who sent those men to hell?”

“You did,” I replied, my voice calming down, my heartbeat steady once more.

He was silent for a moment. “Take a breath and hold it for ten seconds.” I did as he asked. “Good,” he muttered. “Put Hayes back on.”

I looked to Hayes to find he was the one holding the phone to my ear. I gave him a nod, and he pulled the phone away from me. “Yeah?” he said.

A second later, Jake was on his haunches in front of me. “Boss,” he murmured.

“I’m fine,” I told him, mentally trying to shake it off.

He stared at me for a few minutes as Hayes rose to his feet, talking low.

Dominic held his head out to me, his eyes sincere. “Come on, Gray.”

He pulled me to my feet, and I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know…I don’t know why that happened,” I told my team, looking over my shoulder to Hayes. He had his hand on his hip, the other holding the phone, his back to me.

“Grayson.”

I turned and found Dominic at the door, holding it open. He jerked his head. “Let’s go.”

“You sure you’re okay?” Dominic pressed, standing over me in the meeting room. I was sitting at the head of the table, rubbing my forehead, trying to calm down.

“No, I’m not fucking okay,” I sighed, dropping my hand and looking up at him. He knew. He always fucking knew. Dominic could read anyone. It was his fucking job. “Carrie is gone, and I just had my first fucking episode in over three goddamn years. I don’t need to—I can’t—” I cut myself off, looking away from him.

All I could see was her. My trauma was tainting my love for her, and I didn’t know how to stop it.

I’d never been so scared in all my life. I’d stared death straight in the eyes and told it to fuck off, and now, I couldn’t even do what I needed to do to save the only woman I’d ever loved.

I was worthless.

“Talk to me, Gray,” Dominic said patiently.

I shook my head. “There’s no time for that.”

We had to get a move on. We had to go over the mission plan and get on the road. Every second I wasted sitting here was a second Carrie could be hurting.

Dominic studied me for a moment. “Carrie’s kidnapping triggered this.”

I felt a muscle in my cheek jump. “Of course it fucking—”

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