Page 15 of Hold Me Before You Go

Leo.

Bile filled my mouth then, burning my tongue as my eyes watered. I couldn’t vomit here. They’d smell it and know I was awake. I didn’t want them to drug me again.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I swallowed it back down and gagged, my body refusing to take it. “No,” I hissed, shaking my head once I got it down, my stomach flipping. “No, please.”

I just needed my body to obey. Just this once. I swallowed a few more times, just my spit, and breathed in and out of my nose. Once the nausea had subsided, I let my head fall back, my stomach in pain now as I listened to their now-muffled voices for the next few minutes.

Brandon, my dead husband’s long lost brother, had the same drug Leo used on me…

A few seconds later, I heard both of the doors slam, and the van roared back to life. I counted to ten over and over in my head until the van started moving again.

I was to forty by the time I felt like something was crushing my windpipe, and I could hear Leo’s soft chuckle in my ear, taunting me.

Please, God. Please, no.

Carrie. Beautiful Carrie.

His voice was all around me now, his figure hovering over me. I blinked, trying to get the image to vanish. Before I knew it, I was having a panic attack. I couldn’t stop it. My body began to shake, and I felt Leo’s weight on top of me again, holding me down, whispering in my ear.No, no, no, no.

I gasped for air, but I couldn’t breathe. I was being held hostage by my trauma, unable to gain control.

Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. The pull was just too strong, yanking me back down into the past, filling my lungs with a pain-filled poison…

“Hi, sweetheart.”

I looked up to find familiar green eyes, but the kindness I’d grown used to seeing within them was gone, replaced by a wicked gleam.

Chills scattered down my body, and I tried to move.

No, but I couldn’t move, could I? I was trapped underneath his weight, just like before.

“L-Leo, what’s going on?” I repeated, my voice shaking.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this—how patient I’ve been,” he whispered against my cheek, grinding his hips against me. His voice was rough, filled with a dangerous hunger. Fear dug its talons into me, ripping my flesh with a sharp sting.

What did he mean, he’d been waiting? For this?

My body began to tremble as the fear began to intensify. “Leo, please get off of me. I’m not ready for this,” I begged as my mind raced with a thousand questions.

Why did my head feel heavy?

Why was my vision blurred?

How did I get up here?

Why was he holding me down?

Why couldn’t I stop it? It was all just a dream, right? Or perhaps a horrible memory?

I didn’t know where reality began or ended. My soul was chained to the pain of the past, unable to break free.

He sat up, ticking his head to the side, and for the first time, I saw the real Leo. I saw the man underneath the sweet exterior, his mask of kindness melting away right before my eyes, revealing the cold, ugly truth. A cruel, wicked sneer formed on his handsome features, his eyes dropping to my chest. “You made me wait too long, sweetheart. A man can only take so much. You, your body, those fucking blue eyes…I waited patiently, Carrie. You understand that, right?”

Your body, Carrie. That’s all you’re good for.

Robert’s voice echoed in my mind as Leo ticked his head to the side, studying my breasts.

I was nothing but a source of pleasure for him. I never mattered to him. Everything between us had been a lie.

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