Page 14 of Hold Me Before You Go

We fought our demons every damn day, keeping the darkness shoved down. However, a man like me could only take so much. Carrie was gone. The future was uncertain. I only had a taste of true happiness with Carrie, and if I lost her…

“You have my word, Grayson. I will not let you go back there,” Hayes vowed from beside me.

I nodded, remaining silent.

There was nothing else to say.

I had a hunt to focus on.

Chapter Four

Carrie

The van was at a standstill.

I’d been up for about ten minutes, trying to push past the nausea and vertigo while also trying not to have a panic attack. It was a strange thing, when you’re forced to remain quiet in order to survive and your body tries to betray you.

I’d been kidnapped.

I didn’t know what day it was or how long I’d been gone. All I knew was whatever that man—Brandon—drugged me with, it was fucking with my head. Every time I went in and out ofconsciousness, I didn’t know where I’d end up: in a nightmare or in the past, with more memories I could handle bubbling to the surface. My mind had been suppressed from years of trauma, forming a narrative that would protect me. My marriage to Robert had been a prison sentence, and ever since I’d gotten out of St. Louis, I healed more and more, the more painful memories resurfaced. There was so much about my own marriage I didn’t know, so much that had been suppressed by trauma, and this was not the time for all those horrors to come to light.

I needed to get out of here.

A car door slammed, causing me to jump as I heard that female’s voice again. “Brandon, I need a second, okay? We’ve been on the road for hours, and she hasn’t woken up once! What the hell did you give her?”

Who was this woman? Brandon’s wife? Girlfriend?

“I don’t know,” Brandon shouted back. “I did what I had to do.”

This was followed by silence and my bottom lip trembled, waiting to hear what terrors would come out of his mouth next. He drugged me, but he had no idea with what.

I was going to be sick.

“You could’ve have killed her,” the woman finally said, and for a small, fleeting moment, I thought she might have had the human decency to care whether I lived or died.

I heard another bang, and I flinched, biting my lip.

“Look, we’re almost out of this fucking state. Just—”

“Where did you even get something like that?” the woman asked, cutting him off.

I felt a small, burning pain in my neck, but I couldn’t move. My eyes were bound behind my back, and I was still on my side. The sound of crunching gravel came from the right wall, and I tensed, following the sound of footsteps as they got closer and closer to the back of the van.

No, no, no, no. Don’t come back here. Please. Please…

I lifted my head, my eyes on the back doors of the van, holding my breath.

“Found it on her fisherman’s secondary boat. He had a whole stash of the shit. I took it all. I don’t understand why you’re complaining; you stood by and did nothing while I dragged the fat whore to the van.”

My heart stopped beating.

No, no, no, no. They couldn’t be talking about him. Not him.

Her fisherman.

Her fisher—

I saw green eyes, tanned skin, and a crooked smile. A monster hiding behind a mask of kindness.

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