Page 112 of Hold Me Before You Go

His head ticked to the side, appearing almost non-human, saying nothing. Then, he lunged for me, grabbing my arm and ripping me out of the bed as I kicked my leg out. He dodged them and not even a second later, I was on my feet as his fingers tightened on my arm, bruising me. I twisted my neck to see the bed vanish, and then it was replaced by a full-length mirror. Robert roughly spun me to face it, looming behind me with a look of disgust on his face. I stiffened when he leaneddown, brushing my curls away from my ear, his mouth grazing the shell of it. “You were perfect when you were mine.”

I glared at him in our reflection. “I was nothing when I was yours.”

He chuckled, bringing his hand up to my upper arm, his fingers squeezing. Then, I was in nothing but my underwear, my breasts free. “That’s exactly right, but you were perfect. You weren’t a temptation to me…” He trailed off, taking my body in. He clicked his tongue in disapproval, coming around to my side, trailing his hand down my arm, then over my stomach, up to the space between my breasts. I tried moving, but I couldn’t.

My lips began to tremble.

I was trapped.

Robert moved in front of me, his eyes on my body, hatred glistening within those dark, cold pools. “Now look at you—disgusting. You’re a poor excuse of a human, a biological eyesore. I’m here to rectify that.” In a flash, his hand was at my throat, squeezing my airway as his upper lip curled in disgust, backing me up until I was against a wall.

A dark memory of him doing this once before resurfaced as I flailed my arms, trying to push him away, but he was too strong. With a roar, he brought his other hand up to my throat, using all his might to choke the life out of me. I opened my mouth, gasping for air as pressure built up behind my eyes, my body feeling weightless. I brought my hands to his arms, digging my nails into his skin. His grip on my neck loosened a fraction, and I shot my knee up, hitting him between the legs. He grunted, and then, I was free. I gasped for air, sucking down as much of it as I could into my mouth, my lungs burning.

He shouted at me from behind as I stumbled away, falling to the white carpet. I crawled. I crawled for my life as quickly as I could, trying to push past the dizziness. A hand clamped down on my ankle, and I was being dragged back and flipped over.I screamed, throwing out my fists, punching him. He cussed at me, calling me a bitch as he got on top of me, a lock of his hair hanging down on the side of his forehead, insanity sparkling in his eyes now. He laughed, the manic sound bouncing off the empty walls, traveling throughout the cold house as I kept hitting him in the chest.

“Nothing you do will ever be enough,” he barked out before snatching my wrists and pinning them to the floor. He leaned down, hovering just above my face as my chest heaved. “You. Are. Worthless.”

With a growl, I surged up, banging my forehead against his. He fell backward and I bucked, shoving him off before I rolled away and scrambled to my feet. I turned back around to face him. “You’re worthless, Robert. You’re the biological flaw, the damn eyesore. The only one who seemed to love you was your mother, but that wasn’t enough for you, was it?”

He looked up at me from his place on the ground, his eyes wide.

“You ruined me!” I shouted. “You took years of my life away, sticking me in this house—this prison—while you ruined the lives of others, hundreds of innocent people! All for what? Your twisted god-complex and your fat phobia?” I backed away from him, still shouting. “Just because someone looks different than you doesn’t mean their lives are less valuable than yours. Just because their bodies aren’t the cut out of what you deem to be perfect human, doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy of life. My body will no longer be dictated by you or anyone else. My body is my body, I love everything about it.”

“Thank you.”

My head snapped up from where Robert was on the ground at the sound of the new voice, only to find a woman with a similar body type to mine. She was older than me, with brown hair twisted up into a bun, dressed in jeans and a loose t-shirt.My eyes dropped to the bruises around her neck, the imprint of fingers chilling me to the bone. She was pale, her lips blue, and there were a few popped blood vessels in her eyes. She gave me a closed-mouth smile and looked down at Robert as the smile faded. “I was taking a walk in the park,” she began softly. “It was a Saturday. My mother and I were going to the Cards game that night, but I wanted to get some fresh air before then. So, I grabbed my book and headphones and headed out the door. He was walking towards me, dressed in a suit, phone to his ear. He looked at me, then scanned my body.”

I looked at Robert, who was now starting to stand, glaring at her.

“I didn’t think anything of it and continued on my walk. I got to the park, sat down on the bench, and was reading my book before I felt it—the sense of danger,” she explained.

Knives gathered in my throat.

“He was watching me, waiting. When I was ready to head home, to get ready for the game, I left that bench thinking about how much fun my mom and I were going to have.”

I braced myself.

“I never made it to the game.”

The wall behind her faded away, and I saw nothing but a long, wide white room, filled with more people. None of them were skinny. They were all different ages, the youngest being no older than twenty. My throat burned, my stomach dropping as my lips parted.

“Thank you for saying that,” the woman said, drawing my attention. “Though, I doubt it matters now.”

My head slowly turned towards Robert. “You monster,” I whispered, my voice thick with hatred.

He looked at all of them and then back to me, his face expressionless. “I did what I had to do,” he said lowly, snappinghis fingers at the woman as he addressed her. “You aren’t supposed to be here.”

The woman looked at me again. “I’m sorry, Carrie.”

I flinched at the sound of my name on her lips.

Then, she was walking away from me, heading to the small crowd of people. I remained frozen, watching as all of them turned their backs to me, walking away, fading into the blinding white light.

When they were gone, Robert turned to me. “You’re next.”

My eyes widened, and then he surged forward, lunging for me, growling my name.

I screamed a name.

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