Page 104 of Hold Me Before You Go

My fucking sunshine and her heart.This is why she needed to be the one in control.“I know.”

She inhaled a trembling breath. “But if I choose them, I might lose you.”

Like hell.

I pulled back and stroked my thumbs against her cheeks. “You will never lose me. No matter what happens, whether I’m rotting in a prison cell or not. My heart—no, baby,—my damn soul belongs to you. I’m yours. Don’t you get that?” My eyes scanned hers. “That will never change.”

“We don’t have to talk about this now,” I offered after a few moments of silence. “We can push it.”

Carrie shook her head. “What kind of people would that make us?”

Before I could stop it, a small, rough chuckle came from my chest. “You sound just like Hayes.”

Her brows came together. “I do?”

I nodded. “You and Hayes are cut from the same cloth. Pure and decent.”

She removed her hands from my shoulders and wrapped her fingers around my wrists. “I’m tired of being the good person. Nothing has ever come of it.”

I shook my head against hers. “Don’t. Don’t talk like that, Carrie.”

A harsh laugh came from her then. “Why? My entire life has been nothing but hell, and then I get a small taste of happiness—of true love—and it’s ripped away from me?” she continued as she backed away from me. I remained where I was, watching as she crumbled for me, just as I did for her. “What did I do to deserve this life?” she sobbed, bowing her head as she leaned back against the island. “I just want to be happy.”

My gut twisted, the knife inside digging itself deeper. “Tell me to do it,” I pleaded, my voice shaking.

This was the worst form of torture I’d ever endured. I’d rather be held down—deformed again. This, watching my everything crumble, was hell. “Baby, please,” I growled. “Fucking tell me to do it. I’ll have it done by morning, and we can put it in the past. We can be happy.”

Carrie looked up at me again, her face red and wet, devastation painted over her beauty. “It would eat at me.”

My throat worked. “I’ll make you forget.”

Her chest caved in, and she looked up to the ceiling, closing her eyes. “Are you going to hate me if—”

“—never,” I finished for her, closing the distance between us again. Those blue eyes collided with mine.

Silence fell around us for sometime, neither of us moving, the unspoken words between us louder than a war zone. Instead of letting the pain take over, I took her mouth again, kissing her slowly, savoring her. She fell into me, letting me consume her, letting me love her. Before she could get back into her head again, I lifted my woman into my arms and carried her into the bedroom.

“Sarah was the one who told me,” I confessed, referring to the day she was kidnapped.

It was close to midnight. I’d made love to her, worshiping her body in a way I never had before, and after, I washed her in the shower, kissing every inch of her skin. Then, when we were both dressed, I led her back into the living room, and we ate on the couch while one of her favorite movies played on the TV. Now, the movie was done, the bowls were empty, and I’d pulled her onto my lap.

My emotions were all over the place, and a new sense of anxiety was manifesting in my chest.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

Carrie’s lips parted. “What are you talking about?”

“I was watching your tracker while you were in the General Store when I got a call from Jake,” I began. “He’d just filled in the missing pieces about Monica, and I knew I had to get you out of Astoria. I was coming for you, Carrie.” She inhaled a shaky breath as I repeated, “I was fucking coming for you, and I was too fucking late.”

I pressed my fingers into her hips, feeling her. She was here with me, on my lap. She was safe. Nothing would ever happen to her again.

But you won’t be there to protect her when you’re in prison.

My heart began to pound, and I ducked my chin, feeling the anxiety starting to take over. I tried to get a lock on it.

Carrie is safe.

Carrie is right here.

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