Page 62 of Butterfly Effect

He agrees with a woof.

“I know. I like being called a good boy, too.”

Though I haven’t been a very good boy lately, I’ve all but wrecked the penthouse with the sole purpose of leaving Gabe no choice but to stay with me.

The night I slept in my bed after she did was the best sleep I had in months. Every trace of her presence on the sheets was washed away in the laundry too soon. But I was a determined man.

What else was I supposed to do? We agreed to sleepovers after public appearances, and she went and chose the bedrooms on the other side of the place. I wasn’t gonna sit back and let that happen.

Gabe Finch might be a thorn in my side, but she’smythorn. And fuck, I don’t wanna die before I get to kiss her again.

So, I did what I had to.

I shortened a leg of the wooden bedframe by five centimeters. Who cares about the one-of-a-kind Danish design? I’ll get another made. In return, I got a pillow to the face at 1 am. Worth it. The way she paused before leaving my bedroom? I could see it. She thought about joining me.

I took a plier to the wiring of the heated mattress pad in the next room she chose, fraying the ends that went into the temperature control dial until it puffed a small cloud of smoke.

The section of foam and spring I cut out from the middle of the mattress lined up with where I split the slats beneath it—Hulk style—in Bedroom #3. The wearable Hulk fists don’t make a sound anymore, but who cares? Gabe had to be rescued, and I loved every second of scooping her out of that trap.

The pipe leaking in the washroom into the next bedroom over was a happy mistake. I meant to simply remove the shower head so that water sprayed everywhere when she turned it on, but instead, I messed up a pipe so badly that it ruined the room. Oh no, I’ll have to get the flooring redone. No matter. We forge ahead!

I couldn’t have planned the situation with Top Beer Cheese if I’d come up with it myself. In the past, we’ve played against one another in friendly charity games, so when their GM mentioned the state of their equipment to Jules, I leaped at the chance. In return, I asked for their old gear, which I conveniently consolidated in Gabe’s newest selection. Once I turned the heat in there up to thirty-two degrees and let the stench soak into the space, she wasn’t able to handle it.

And last but not least, I skipped an arm day to saw each of the last bedroom’s legs—not all the way—enough that the slightest movement would have it collapsing on top of itself.

The evilly genius plan is working so far, but I have yet to scheme up what accidental atrocity plagues the seventh bedroom.

I look at Doug.

Doug looks back.

My brows raise in suggestion.

“Y’know, every once in a while, dogs get curious and eat things they’re not supposed to.”

Doug snorts.

“And sometimes, if they eat something like, I don’t know,chocolate” —the dog snaps his open mouth shut and drops his usually goofy smile— “it makes them sick. Sick enough to…leave a mess behind.”

He places a paw across his snout as if to hide his eyes.

“A very stinky diarrhea mess.”

He huffs at me, straightening his front paws at thedingof my phone notifications.

Freckles

Why did my PA send me a schedule for next weekend with time blocked off for a birthday party?

Me

Because there’s a birthday party

Freckles

I told you to cancel it!

Me

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