No can do
Me
It’s your birthday! We HAVE to celebrate!!
Freckles
We absolutely do not.
Me
Mostly because we already told everyone weeks ago that I planned to
Freckles
How is that my fault? You didn’t even ask me if I had plans.
Me
Do you have plans??
Freckles
No.
Freckles
But I could have!
Me
Now you do
Freckles
…
Freckles
Fine. Whatever.
Me
I like it when you’re nice
Freckles
Guess I’m gonna have to be meaner.
Me
I’ve told you this before but
I snicker to myself while searching for and selecting the meme GIF of Skeletor pointing and moving his jaw captioned with, “joke’s on you I’m into that shit.”
Just when I think I’ve rendered her speechless, she returns a GIF of an Elmo muppet with his arms raised, flames flickering in the background. The text reads, “I’M IN HELL.” I choke on my spit and hack out a horrendous, cartoonish laugh akin to Goofy.
Thank God no one was around to witness that.