Page 37 of Sweet Little Thing

Jasper pulled me into his arms. Rolling to his side, he took me with him. I returned from my high nestled in his embrace. Jasper’s breath on my neck and his smell all around me, the exhaustion from the day and the experience taking over as I let myself relax and trust this, trust him. This felt right. It wassafe. . .I felt safe. The way he held me against him didn’t make me feel alone. No words were spoken by either of us because they didn’t need to be.

Was it fair not to take a chance on love? I saw his heart. He was good. Jasper was a trustworthy man. He wasn’t going to destroy me and leave me unable to take care of Heidi. His heart was too big for that. This wasn’t a mistake; it couldn’t be, my eyes suddenly fluttering open as I turned my head to look at him, eyes closed, long lashes fanning his cheeks, beneath those cheeks, his sculpted cheekbones, flawless like the rest of him. Though I also loved the man inside. The one overcoming his own set pain and the demons that daily hounded him. He was so much more than a spoiled rich kid. He was a fighter. I respected that. Yes, I was sure that I loved him. What I felt had to be love. There was nothing else this could be.

Chapter

Twenty-Eight

Jasper

I stepped over the line. No, I was miles past the damn line. I couldn’t even see the fucking line. It had taken the whiskey to push me to it, though I’d have eventually done it anyway. There was no keeping her at arm’s length. I didn’t want her that far away. I wanted Beulah right where she was. Wrapped in my arms. Asleep, looking so damn beautiful, it hurt.

Now, we had to figure this out. Find a way to make it all work. I wanted this. I might have been drunk last night, though I was honest when I spoke. Being with her made me happy. Happier than I could ever remember being. I was willing to do anything to have a life with Beulah. Though I needed to prepare for the arguments. Those yet to come. She’d not be okay with moving from the basement. I knew that would be the first issue. But I wasn’t going to sleep up here, knowing she was down there, with the washing machine for company. If she wouldn’t move upstairs, I’d go down there and sleep with her.

And, of course, when Stone returned, he would be a problem. I’d have to talk to him. Change his attitude about her. I wasn’t going to allow him to talk down to her any longer. I hated that he had done it before. I’d let it slide for selfish reasons, mostly because I knew the effect Stone had on females—for the entirety of his life, he’d done it. I was afraid if he was nice to Beulah, she’d fall under his spell—the one he could so easily cast. I’d ended things with Maisie after I found her coming on to Stone dressed only in her bra and panties. He’d been repeatedly turning her down, but she’d been after him. That was the last straw. And she wasn’t the first girl from my past to want Stone and pursue him without shame. He knew what he could do, but instead, he remained my friend. Not once had he accepted their invitation when my girlfriends flirted and made propositions. He’d ignored it, been cruel until they vanished from my life. Once he knew they would cheat on me, he made their lives pure hell. I never realized what he was doing until it was done and over.

Beulah, though, she was different. Nothing in common with the others. He didn’t need to mistreat her. She wasn’t coming on to him. She was here, tucked against me, trusting me, and I had the power to hurt her, not just her heart, but through her income. She loved Heidi above all else. And she trusted me with that. It was humbling. Sincerely humbling. When I began drinking yesterday, I’d thought that her fear for Heidi’s security might be the reason I could never have her. That Beulah wouldn’t let it continue. That all I would ever get was a good employee and possibly a solid friendship.

Then, she’d surprised me. Beulah entrusted herself to my care, and I would make sure she was protected. Heidi would never be without her home. I’d handle it today. I could pay in advance for the next ten years. That would ease any concerns or fears Beulah may harbor. We’d be free to enjoy this and be us because now that I’d found her, I wanted a life with Beulah.

She stirred in my arms, and I watched her eyes open. A sleepy smile spread across her face, and she stretched and stared up at me. “So that wasn’t a dream,” Beulah said, her voice roughened from sleep.

“It was very real,” I assured her, bending to kiss her nose as she buried her head in my chest.

“How can this work?” she asked.

“We can work it out together. Beginning with my ending your worries about Heidi. I’m going to pay for her care today. A decade in advance. If I could. . .” but before I said any more, Beulah’s head rose, and she looked at me like I’d lost my mind. Her blonde hair falling in silky locks over her shoulder slightly mussed from sleep. God this woman was gorgeous.

“What? You can’t do that. Jasper, that’s a fortune!”

“I’m sure they’ll give me a discount. Although I don’t care about the cost. I want Heidi to be taken care of regardless of what happens to us in the future. I don’t intend to let you go, but if you ever want to walk away, I want you to have that freedom. I don’t want you to stay with me because you fear losing your job. I need you to want to be with me because I can’t think about life without you.”

Beulah sat up, pushed her hair from her face, pulled her knees to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them. “Jasper, that’s not okay. I mean, the idea of Heidi’s care and home being paid for is. . .both. . .shocking and amazing, but that’s a fairytale. I don’t live in that fantasy world where money is, well, available. And just because we. . .” she paused and looked deep into my eyes “. . .are doing this. . .that’s my gamble to take. . .and you shouldn’t have to pay to have me here in your life. . .because. . .that’s. . .well, wrong and unfair, like a salary for loving you. Which I don’t need or want.”

Every girl before Beulah expected gifts. Expensive presents and trips, luxury on a whim, the moment we got together. Iwasn’t offering Beulah any of that. Only security for her sister. And this was her response? Would it always be like this? Would she make me love her more every day? I was going to be so obsessed with her that I’d have to make sure she never left me. I’d had a taste, and I wanted to hold on tight.

“Beulah, do you really love me?” I asked, although she’d already told me she did.

“Yes,” Beulah responded.

“Then let me do this. Give Heidi solid ground. To make us work, we’re going to need to make some drastic changes. You not slaughtering yourself with three jobs must be one of those changes. I’ll take care of Heidi. You can work with me at the office. I’m hiring another housekeeper. Before you say anything, let me finish. You’re with me now. We’re a couple. I don’t want you cleaning my house. I want to sit with you at night. Watch movies, talk, and have you naked and under me. I want to watch you eat breakfast and enjoy you. If you’re waiting on me. . .it’s going to kill me. Don’t do that to me.”

She laid her forehead on her knees and closed her eyes. Beulah sighed, processing everything, and I gave her all the time she needed, my heart pounding in my chest as the seconds ticked by. Knowing she was independent and proud, she didn’t want to take from me not getting that I was ready to give her everything. Just to have her. The changes were inevitable. We had to compromise.

“The job I do at the office. That isn’t enough. I need to do more,” she said without looking at me.

“I have another position I need filled. I want a private secretary. The one we have isn’t mine. Not exclusively. I’ve hesitated to hire someone because I needed someone I could tolerate for long hours alone and in private. You’d be the perfect fit for that. The position would be salaried and have benefits. And you’d do a wonderful job.”

I’d already thought of this. Though I hadn’t planned on laying it on her. Not this soon, anyway. I suppose this was the right moment. I was about to find out if it was.

Finally, she lifted her head. Beulah’s shoulders rose and fell in one breath. “Okay, if that will help you. I want us to have this, but I don’t want to be a leech. I need to make my own money and help pay the bills. Also, assist with the food. To the best of my ability.”

There was no way on earth I was letting Beulah pay the bills or buy food for this place. We’d have to deal with that later. I didn’t want to argue about it this morning. “Good then,” I responded.

“Most people don’t start a relationship by living together, Jasper.” Beulah was frowning again.

“Yes, but we were living in the same house before our relationship. That’s a different set of rules.” I wasn’t about to let her get the idea that she needed to move out. No way in fucking hell was she leaving me.

Beulah leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder, and nothing was said for a while. I held her, and we watched the early morning sun, the glass in the windows bending its light. Another type of warmth filled my heart and my bed. One that I’d been seeking for as long as I remembered and knew what love really was. Now, it was here with me.

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