Page 36 of Sweet Little Thing

I laughed. Beulah made me laugh a lot—something I hadn’t realized I had needed so desperately until her. I wanted to be close to her for many reasons, not just because I wanted to touch her so fucking bad I ached. Beulah made me happy. I’d been pretending so damn long I forgot what real happiness felt like. Even when life sucked, she managed to find joy in the crevasses. That was hard, exceptionally difficult.

“Yes, I’m drunk. . .but everything I just said is why I’m drunk to begin with. I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop wanting to be near you. I gave you a job in my office so you’d be close to me all day. Even when I acted like a dick, it was because I was attracted to you and didn’t want to be. Then I got to know you and found it was more than your beautiful face and body. It was you. That fucking glow inside of you. Both your inside and your outside captivated me, Beulah. You’re so perfect I couldn’t make you up.” If I was sober, would I be streaming through these great explanations? I highly doubted that. I’d be so damn nervous I wouldn’t say half the shit coming out of my mouth. Though I meant it. Every fucking word. With alcohol guiding, everything flowed forth like undammed water in a river. I was torched, the whiskey bottle had me saying things I never thought I’d say.

Still, Beulah hadn’t budged. I got up and walked over to stand in front of her. Close enough that I could feel her warmth without touching her, she tilted her head back. Looked at me and replied, “I think…that I love you. But. . .we shouldn’t say that. Those words. When you’re sober, you’ll realize that. This,” Beulah scanned the room, “couldn’t work. I’m not someone who can live in your world.”

I didn’t care about that shit. There was only one world and she was quickly becoming mine. If life gives you a Beulah. . . how do you walk away from that? I didn’t want to be my dad. I didn’t want his unhappy life. I wanted a life with sunshine in it—and Beulah was my sunshine. “Let me show you I can make this work. Please, Beulah, I can’t let you slip through my fingers. There is only one you and I will do everything you ask. Whatever you want.”

Beulah blinked, her eyes glistening. “I can’t believe this is happening. I’m afraid to believe it. When you wake up tomorrow, you’re going to regret that you said all this to me. It’ll be awkward. . .I need this job. . .both jobs. . .you know that.”

I slid my hand around her waist, gently bringing her to me. “I won’t change my mind. And I sure as hell won’t regret this. Let me hold you tonight. When you wake up in my arms, you’ll know it’s going to be okay. We found each other for a reason. It was fate. It’s supposed to be. We’re. . . supposed to be.”

Beulah was stiff, but she slowly eased and relaxed as I spoke. Her body molded against mine. “I think fate sometimes can be cruel,” she whispered against my chest.

“I won’t let fate hurt you. I swear. It won’t come between us.”

Chapter

Twenty-Seven

Beulah

I’d been in here numerous times to clean it. Now, I was standing in Jasper’s massive, cavernous bathroom with a towel wrapped around me. After taking a bath, I stared at myself, studying my face in the mirror. Was I making a mistake? He was drunk. I had smelled the whiskey on his breath. But he’d also been very serious. He’d said things to me…. Beautiful words. Words that a drunk mind can’t make up. . . right? When you’re drunk, you can’t talk like that? You stutter and stammer and slur?

“You okay in there?” Jasper asked, his voice coming from his bedroom. He hadn’t passed out. He was waiting on me. Jasper was waiting onme.

“Yes,” I replied. “I’m fine.”

He didn’t say anything else. I slipped on my pink pajamas and looked at myself one last time in the mirror. This wasn’t something you wore to attract a man. But we were just sleeping in his bed. Together. Oh, God, we were sleeping in his bed.I should have said no. Gone down to my room, but I wanted this. . . Jasper. . . us and I wanted all those things he said to be true. Although, this was a gamble. Maybe the biggest of my life. I couldn’t let Heidi be affected by this. If he changed his mind, would I lose my jobs? Could I let my heart guide me when I had a sister to take care of?

I opened the door to tell him my concerns again. Make sure that in his current state, he remembered that this wasn’t only me I was risking here. There was much more at stake than my heart. If I went down, so did Heidi.

When I was barely through the door, he was there in front of me, his body warm, hands cupping my face. This was also a risk for Jasper. He was taking a major leap of faith with me. Wasn’t he?

As to that, I started to ask why when his mouth covered mine, and he pressed me back against the door I’d just walked through. I’d never been kissed this way. It was heady. The taste of the whiskey was spicy and wicked. I closed my eyes and grabbed his arms, forgetting everything I’d been worried about and soaking in his smell, the way his body made mine tingle with excitement, our tongues dancing, breath mingling in the darkness. Jasper’s room lit by the streaming moonlight coming through the windows at an angle, I felt as if we were hidden here. We were alone, and the reasons why this could be bad didn’t matter. The world wasn’t here with us. We were in our own bubble.

My fingers laced through his hair, and he made a low sound that vibrated deep in his chest. His mouth left mine and trailed kisses down my neck, then my feet were off the ground. I was in his arms as he covered the distance to his bed, where he laid me down gently. His shirt was off in an instant, a pair of shorts hanging loosely on his hips. He wasn’t as deeply chiseled and defined as Stone was, but he was equally beautiful. As he came over me, our eyes met, the softness of the bed beneath me, withhis hard body on top.

I arched my back as his tongue traced my collarbone. Jasper unbuttoned my shirt just enough so he could kiss the top of each breast before he came back to me, his eyes burning as brightly as my body, “I won’t continue. We’ll go slow. I’ll be sober whenever I’m inside you. I only want to taste and feel a little before I go mad.”

The idea of him being inside me caused a shiver to run through me. My body tightened with anticipation. . .but I, too, wanted him sober for that. “Okay,” I breathlessly replied.

Jasper rested his head on my chest. I could feel the hardness of his arousal between my legs. Though we were separated by clothing, the pressure made me squirm. “Does that feel good?” he asked, his voice a whisper in my ear.

“Yes,” I admitted. “It does.” There was no denying how it affected me. My body was firing flares. Jasper rocked hard against me, and on impulse, I grabbed his arms, moving my hips with his, the friction from his body feeling better than the actual singular experience I’d had with sex. Back then, I’d been nervous and scared. Unsure and afraid of the moment. Now, I ached with the tease of real pleasure. I was older, but this was Jasper. I was almost positive that I loved him. Maybe that was the difference.

His breath was hot against my neck, Jasper working my curves, dropping down to my thigh, he pulled my leg against his hip, up high, simulating what I wanted. The sounds from his throat almost made me climax by simply listening and feeling his movements. “I want to be inside you so fucking bad,” he said with his face buried in my hair, Jasper’s breathing as erratic as mine. “I’ve got to stop. But I want you to come for me. Can I make you come for me, Beulah?”

If I didn’t have an orgasm, my head was going to explode. And then the rest of me. I nodded in affirmation, confirming mydesireto come because I couldn’t say the words. Speechwas currently not an option. Jasper moved away, and I started to grab him by the throat, bringing him back. His hand slipped beneath the band of my pajamas, and then he lifted his head, our eyes locking. My body went still, and I could barely pant as he eased his hand into the silk of my panties, Jasper’s fingers sliding over the wetness of my folds as my body jerked in response.

“Fuck, you’re soaking,” he said, staring at my reaction. No other words were said. Jasper then entered me. At first one finger, then two, pumping slowly to delay the build. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. My chin rose, and my head fell back. My brain was no longer involved. My body climbed towards that pleasure it knew was coming, and I grabbed Jasper’s chest, my nails raking down his flesh. Jasper’s mouth hovered near my neck as his tongue flicked the heated skin.

“Please,” I begged because I had to get there. I needed him to go faster and harder.

“Enjoy it, Beulah,” he growled, going deeper and plunging as I began to tremble, Jasper holding back, keeping me on the edge, my head tossing like the sea on the pillow, as my voice screamed out, though nothing in particular, my insides convulsing with pleasure.

Just when I was about to plead with him, his thumb pressed my clit with the right amount of pressure as his fingers slammed into me.

“Oh God!” I cried out, every fiber of my body lit up by my orgasm. The strength of it took my breath. I gasped, finally sucking in air.

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