Page 1 of Christmas Wish

Chapter One

Holly

"So, are you just going to quit?" Ruth Dalenger's loud voice drilled into her ears. Holly roused in bed, completely and emotionally drained. The duvet stopped under her neck, but when her mother started yelling, she pulled it over her head. Like a cheetah, though, Ruth leaped across the bed and removed the duvet, her eyes almost red with fury.

Holly hissed loudly and wriggled around in bed to show her dissatisfaction. "Ma, please just stop. I am never going back to college. Can you leave me alone and continue packing for your trip? That's all you've always cared about – your travels," she said, her voice mellowed by pain, not rage.

Her mother joined Holly in bed and took her in her warm arms and kissed her forehead. "You know that nothing's more important to me than you,” Ruth uttered softly. “I love you, Holly, and I want to see you succeed. Come on; this is just one semester. You failed one semester. You can always pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and continue the race. You can't give up now, Holly. We've given way too much for that. Remember our tiny mobile house in Philadelphia and how I was struggling to make ends meet for both of us.”

Holly did not reply.

Her mother continued, “Baby, you didn’t go to school for almost a year. You really can’t blame yourself for this one because it’s on me. I should’ve done better – made better choices with my life – but I didn’t. All that resulted to was… I’m so sorry, baby girl.” Ruth’s voice broke in several layers. Holly knew that if she looked up, she would see the tears clinging onto her eyelashes.

“I know that you’ve always done your best, Ma,” Holly replied. “This one isn’t on you -- it’s on me. I just need to take a break. Maybe school isn’t for me, after all," she added, shrugging.

Ruth peered into Holly's eyes. “What do you mean by that?" she asked.

Holly pushed herself against the bedframe. “The courses were so difficult to understand, and so were the assignments and projects that the professors had given. I could barely process the lectures; it was no surprise that my grades turned out to be an utter disgrace.” Tearfully, she said, “Maybe I really am a dimwit."

Ruth hugged Holly again and waited patiently until she calmed down. “Do you remember that time when Scooby was caught in a shrub, and you climbed a tree to free him? What about when you won that award for high school debate? Smart, brave, and wonderful – that’s who you are.”

“Ma, but—”

Ruth interrupted her. “No buts. You’ve always been a fighter. I didn’t raise you to be a quitter, so you are not quitting college. Botany has always been your dream, and you have to see it through,” she said.

“Perhaps, Ma, but I really need this break for a semester. I need to figure out what I want exactly," she uttered. Holly wanted to tell her dreams were different from reality. In college, she couldn't fit in. She wasn't even that girl in high school that her mother remembered. There were so many obstacles waiting to pull her down. The books she read refused to make sense; most days, they turned into a mound of blurry lines.

Ruth threw her hands up as a sign of her tiredness. She walked around the bed and headed towards her room. “I’m going to finish packing now and wait for Philip to pick me up. What are you going to do for Christmas, Holly?” Ruth asked, stopping near the door.

"I have no idea, Ma," Holly replied honestly. She was tired, frustrated, and so sad that she could barely get out of bed.

Her mother's wrinkled face stretched into an artful but pitiable smile. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us to Central America? It could be fun.”

Holly shook her head vigorously. The last thing she needed was traipsing around the snow moodily while her mother and her boyfriend had all the fun. No thanks; she’d rather stay at home, drink hot chocolate, and watch the fireworks from her windows.

When Ruth was out of the bedroom, Holly thought of getting a job at the diner downtown. Her friend's father owned it and would gladly find her a spot if she asked. She also considered working at the library. She had always loved being around books; it was just sad that her brain failed her when she needed it most.

Restless and bored, Holly threw aside the duvet and walked down the squeaking flight of stairs towards the kitchen. She poured herself some cereal and settled down on the barstool pushed close to the table to eat. Outside, the squirrels ran around the trees, and birds twittered loudly. Normally, these sounds of nature would calm her down, but they irritated her now. She wanted absolute quiet to hear herself think.

The telephone in the kitchen rang so loudly just then, startling her. Sighing, Holly rose and walked up to take the call. However, her brows furrowed upon seeing the caller ID. The number had a Montana area code. Holly had never known anyone from Montana.

“Hello?” Holly said when she picked up the receiver.

A warm, sad, yet urgent voice of a man flooded her ears. “Hello, could I speak to Ms. Ruth Dalenger? I’m Matthew Kitchen, her mother's lawyer. I'm afraid I have some bad news," Matthew said.

Holly was fascinated by his Montana accent. It was so crisp and thick; it flowed smoothly across her ears and made her want to listen to him forever. It almost made her forget about the fact that he just mentioned her grandmother. That surprised Holly since her mother never talked about any family member before.

“One moment, please.” Holly covered the phone and yelled out to her mother, "Ma, a lawyer from Montana wants to talk to you!"

In a flash, Ruth raced down the stairs. The wildness in her eyes frightened Holly and caused her to step away from her. Her mother grabbed the phone and tucked her hair back before placing it over her ears.

“Yes? Matthew?” Ruth uttered.

Holly watched her mother’s expression change while talking on the phone. Her face reddened, tears misted her eyes, and her lower lips started quivering until she eventually collapsed against the kitchen wall, still listening to the lawyer.

“Right. Thank you, Matthew. I’ll let you know when I can come over,” Ruth finally said. She dropped the phone on its stand and slowly walked across the room before taking a seat on a barstool and dropping her head into her palms dramatically.

Holly approached her mother, afraid that Ruth would tip. “Are you alright, Ma? Do you need a glass of water or anything?” she asked, placing a hand gingerly on her mother’s shoulders.

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