Page 75 of All Saints: Pledge

I sigh. I’m too tired for games. “Well, anyhow, thanks. I’m surprised you even bothered.”

Kendall pauses at my door, hand outstretched for the knob. “What do you mean?”

“You couldn’t even look at me tonight. I’m surprised you bothered to come and make sure I wasn’t murdered, or whatever. Wouldn’t that just make it easier for you to win?”

He pauses, digesting. “I wasn’t ignoring you tonight.”

I grit my teeth, my anger spiking. “You’re a terrible liar, Kendall.”

I can tell by the way his shoulders stiffen that I’ve stoked his ire too. “I was under strict instruction to leave you alone tonight, and so I did. Not like you weren’t…distracted…tonight as well. You and Teague certainly looked cozy.”

I scoff, and I decide I have to head this off before I say something I’ll regret. “Never mind, Kendall. I’m tired. Goodnight.”

In two strides, he’s near my door and I can feel the anger rolling off of him.He turns and the look he gives me is searing. “I didn’t ignore you. I can never ignore you. I know where you are every second of every day, and I never get a moment’s peace from you in my head. I can’t let my father see…can’t let him guess…”

I roll my eyes again. More of these games.

“I did what I had to do for my plan. And to do that, I have to follow orders and I have to get a bid. I need to ensure…”

My hackles rise. “Ensure what? That you beat me? For this mysterious secret plan of yours.” I wave my hands around like a ghost. “You claim you care about me only when it’s convenient, I’ve noticed. Kendall, I swear to God, you run hot and cold faster than my shower at home. I’m tired. Goodnight.”

“That’s not?—”

With a vengeance, I pull the clip out of my hair and slam it down onto the desk. I ruthlessly yank my hair free and it tumbles down. “I said goodnight.”

“Helena.” He comes back to stand at my desk, and stares as I resolutely watch my reflection and rip a brush through the strands of my hair. “This is almost over. Iamtelling you the truth. My father suspects I care for you. I have to keep him from using you as leverage.”

I slam the brush down and spin to face Kendall. This is familiar. The anger and the awareness buzzing through my body. But I meant what I said. I’mtired. “Leverage for what, Kendall. You keep saying that I’m here as leverage, but you know what I found out tonight? I found out that any legacy applicant gets an automatic pass on all the tests. That I didn’t need to apply, that I didn’t need you or your father, or any of the stuff that you’ve done to me. I could have been like Beatrice and just marched in here, waving around my grandfather’s name, and they would have given me a goddamned tiara. And you kept it from me and made me go through hell. So I will ask again: what leverage, Kendall? What power could I have over you or your father since you seem to hold all the goddamned cards?”

The color drains from his face. I know I’ve hit the bullseye. His eyes dart between mine, all traces of arrogance gone. “Your grandfather wanted you clear of All Saints. You never would have known about it unless my father sent you that scholarship.The plan was one year, two at the most, and then to come find you.” His gaze darts between my eyes. “I’m also a legacy, Helena. And I need a sponsor because I need to replace my father as head of this organization. Once I’m in charge, I’m going to end it. Expose the members and what they’ve been bidding on to gain favors. It’s dangerous, and I need to be ruthless. I can’t have someone I care about involved…your future would be in jeopardy. You don’t know what they do to people who don’t play along. They ruin them. Your grandfather knows exactly what happens to people who try to speak up for what is right. I don’t care if my name gets ruined in the process, but I do mind if they take away your brilliant future.”

I’m stunned. “They won’t let you do that.”

“Not if they know what I’m doing, no. My father suspects I’m not…happy. He thinks that by keeping you in the organization, that I’ll play nice. So I don’t ruin you too.”

Something in my stomach drops. “And would you?” What Kendall proposes is…damning. If it gets out to mainstream media that people are buying favors to get big jobs in world government? Or making contracts to trade sex for money with the world’s elite? It would be an atomic bombshell for those connected to the story.

His eyes come to mine, silvery in the moonlight. I see the truth there. “Some things are bigger than one person. I’m doing my best to shield you from this,havedone my best to make my father believe I have no interest in you, so he’ll let you go home.”

I just stare at him. He’d ruin me—ruin himself—to stop this organization. This is no high school tormentor. This is real world, life or death stakes.

“What if they hurt you?” Suddenly, picturing Kendall crumpled and bleeding on a floor seems intolerable. The story about the woman jumping from the roof of Somerville College flashes through my mind.

That question more than anything seems to turn the tides of his anger. Instead, something else sparks in his eyes. His lips quirk. “Worried about my body, but not my reputation?” He reaches out, removing the bobby pins in my hand and placing them on the desk. It’s so startling, I let him. “You are sogood. I am trying to keep you that way,” he says as he steps closer. It’s like he can’t help himself. “I know I’ve done this all wrong.”

“Done…done what all wrong?” I swallow. My anger has blown itself out. This quiet, still power he has is magnetic. He’s watching me intently, like he’s memorizing my eyes and my lips.

“Let me show you what it would be like,” he says, leaning in. It’s that soft, real side of Kendall that no one else gets to see.

“What it would be like to what?” My words are breathy. I’m having trouble taking in air. I don’t understand the charge, the sheerintentof him. It’s different from that vision of Teague and me in the window glass. That was ephemeral, a specter of the future. What could be. This is messy and raw, present right now and grounding in a way that seems inevitable. Like I’m coming home after a long trip away.

“What it would be like to be with me.”

The words cause my heart to stutter. He says it so simply. Like it’sa foregone conclusion that I’ll agree once he explains. I start to voice an argument, to tell him why that’s a terrible idea. That he’s arrogant, and self-centered, and a bully.

But he reaches his hand out and presses a finger to my lips. “I told you I’d gone about this the wrong way. I thought I could just, I don’t know.” he runs his hands through his hair before reaching out for me again. This time his fingers go to my hair and he gently pulls out more pins. “I thought I could come here for a year, do what needed to be done, and then somehow miraculously find you and ask you to start over. Like we’d just met in that closet. Let you get to know the real me. Be togetherlike a normal couple. In front of everyone, without having to hide my feelings.”

The rest of my hair cascades down my back. He leans forward and presses a kiss to my forehead before gently turning me around to face the desk.

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