Page 19 of Unforgivable

Damn. You are ruthless, Evans.

I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. No matter how many questions he asked in his misguided attempt to get my guard down, I hadn't forgotten his lascivious taunt the first time he messaged me. I was bound and determined to never be caught alone by him again, though it was obvious even an audience would do little to stop him. I was back to looking over my shoulder, wondering when he'd pop up and follow through with his threat.

When Friday had ended and signaled an entire week without any Hawk sightings, I wondered if he had ever meant to touch me again or if it was said simply to throw me off balance.

In a horrifying development, the thought that he hadn't been serious about it caused the faintest stirring in my stomach that felt a little like…disappointment. That alone nearly sent me into a tailspin that had me forcing down any and all positive emotions that Hawk had somehow dragged out of me since we met. I had to focus on the negatives. I spent most of my childhood with bullies who tried everything imaginable to lower my defenses and inflict whatever damage they could. I knew better than to fall for his manipulations, no matter how funny or interesting he seemed in the last several days. I had to stay strong.

I had been playing with the idea of talking to Micah about everything and getting some perspective on my unintentional…whatever this was with Hawk. But whatever had happened between him and Bash left Micah spiraling, and nothing I tried seemed to help, so I was left with only one option.

Me

Hey, would you maybe want to come over for pizza, a movie, and emotional processing?

Fin

Hells yes! I'm in like Errol Flynn! P.S. I'm bringing wine.

“You know,Rick O'Connell could awaken the gay in the straightest homebro on the planet. I'll die gloriously on that hill,” Fin said mindlessly, sipping his wine while Brendan Fraser took out a host of mummies on screen.

“I'd even go for the Medjai dude with the face tattoos. That long hair and the accent are really working for me,” I replied. We were sprawled out on my couch after agreeing on a Mummy marathon. It had been one of the best evenings I'd had in a while even though Micah had turned down our offer to join. He hadn't been feeling well and turned in early, but that was par for the course with him lately.

I found it crazy, yet comforting how easy it was to hang out with Fin considering I knew him all of one week. He was sweet, funny, and talked to me like we'd been friends forever. Besides Micah, I hadn't had any kind of friend like that since Connor. Until recently, I didn't notice how much I had truly missed having that kind of connection with someone.

“Mmm, okay. I see your type,” Fin smirked. “Look at you, Reese's Pieces! You like 'em tall, dark and dangerous with all those silky curls and broody eyes. I never would have guessed that.”

I chuckled uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact as my face flushed slightly.

Or tall, blond and dangerous with silky curls and two different colored eyes who got me off in a classroom full of people and then threatened to do it again while I begged him for it. Apparently my type is hazardous for my health. Not at all self-destructive…

“Have you run into your ex again since last week?” I asked to steer the conversation away from me.

Fin made a small gagging noise and gave an exaggerated shudder. “Yes, unfortunately. He keeps pushing for me to give him another chance, like I haven't given him a dozen already. Dumb brute thinks that if he just lets me hop on his pogo stick enough, I'll forget all the insufferable crap I put up with being with him.”

“You slept with him again?” I asked in surprise.

His eyes went round as he froze, eyes shifting to me slowly. “Nooooo?” I laughed at his reaction and he looked a bit sheepish. “Ugh, okay yes I did,butyou don't understand! You've seen how big he is, right? Trust me when I say he is well proportioned and knows how to use every inch. Plus I hate him, and everyone knows hate sex is the best,” he finished with a saucy smirk.

His words shot through my brain like shrapnel. Memories resurfaced of vicious taunts, forbidden hands on my body and unexpected pleasure.

I saw in my periphery Fin looking me over with a scrutinizingexpression. I tried to pretend like I didn't notice and kept my gaze trained on the movie.

“Are you doing alright, Rhys? You seem like you've got something on your mind, and you did say you wanted help processing some stuff. I've been known to process over ninety-eight emotions per minute, so my friend resumé is excellent in this area,” Fin said, flashing me a wink.

I had invited him over with the intention of spilling the sordid details of everything happening with Hawk, but the words wouldn't come. I could barely make sense of the myriad of thoughts and confusion that my interactions with him had brought up. I had a feeling Fin wouldn't judge me for any of it, but it didn't make it any easier to force the words out.

“Soooo, there's this guy,” I started cautiously, unable to meet Fin's eyes.

“Oh! I love it already! Is he hot? Is he bad? Is he dirty? Tell meeverything!” Fin clapped in excitement. His enthusiastic reaction had me barking out a laugh because he wasn't wrong about any of his guesses.

“Oh, he's definitely hot, bad and dirty…but it's not a good thing. In fact, that's part of the problem,” I told him. Fin cocked his head at me in confusion, and I blew out a deep breath and started from the top.

Once I had filled in Fin on the party, our second meeting, the classroom rub down, and our texting spree, he just stared at me with rounded eyes and an unreadable expression.

After a few minutes of nothing but blinks and silence, I waved my hand in front of him to jolt him out of it. “Uhh, you okay in there? Was that an information overload?”

“I'm just processing,” Fin said slowly, still blinking his doe eyes at me.

“Thought you processed almost 100 emotions a minute.”

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