Page 42 of Inevitable

My hand went down to palm his hard length through his jeans, and he groaned into my mouth. The sound made me flinch, but he must've registered it as an impatient move for more because he batted my hands away, undid his belt quickly, and lowered his zipper. Meanwhile, my cock lay limp behind my boxer briefs, barely twitching. When Kit went for my own belt, I stopped him again and slowly sank to my knees instead.

He just smirked sinfully at me, probably happy to be the one serviced tonight, and pulled his dick from his pants. The first sight of the engorged, glistening tip almost made my stomach rebel. What was itabout this encounter that was so difficult to go through with?

Before I lost my nerve, I took the head into my mouth and sucked hard. Kit bucked his hips, forcing himself a little further down. Just as I had with every man before this, the only thing I could do was close my eyes and imagine Bash. To me, it was Bash's hands gripping my hair in a vice. It was Bash's hips pumping his length down my throat, causing me to gag and drool around the thick hardness.

The fantasy stopped there when I heard a groan that was distinctlynotfrom Bash, and my eyes sprung open as my heart beat frantically in my chest at how wrong it all sounded. Two seconds later, Kit was unloading down my throat while I tried to breathe through my gag reflex and get it over with.

When he was done, he pulled out of my mouth, leaving me gasping for breath and incapable of looking anywhere but the floor in front of me.Why did I do that?…everything about that was wrong…fuck me, I feel sick…

“Jesus Micah, that was amazing…” Kit rumbled to me, catching his breath and tucking his drained cock back into his boxers. I still couldn't look at him, and his comment had a wave of nausea rolling through me. He held out his hand to me, and I let him help me to my feet. He must've grabbed a few tissues from the side table because he handed them to me to wipe off my face.

“You okay?” he asked softly, tilting my head up to make eye contact. I noticed how his ocean blue eyes didn't make my stomach flutter or my heart jump in my chest. They didn't take my breath away or hold the power to pull me under.

Bash's eyes might not have been the color of the ocean, but I'd happily drown in them every time.

That's when I knew for certain there was no moving on with Kit because there was no moving on from Bash. Not right now, perhaps not ever.

“We should get out of here before someone catches us in here,” Kit chuckled, oblivious to the inner turmoil ravaging my brain. He put his shirt back on and opened the door to the room, sauntering out while still doing up his zipper and belt.

As if the universe wanted to reinforce my monumental fuck up, I heard my most favorite voice in the entire world…and it was the very fucking last one I wanted to hear at that moment.

I hurried to throw my shirt on and rushed out of the room, stumbling to a halt when my eyes connected with intoxicating emeralds. All the breath left my body, and my gut churned turbulently with fear and regret.

I didn't even have a chance to say his name before Bash dashed down the stairs and out the front door. When I made a move to follow him, Kit gripped my arm and pulled me back.

“Let him go. Trust me, he'll get over it soon,” Kit said, gesturing toward where Bash had just been. Anger rose up hot in my chest.Guess that's the end of my emotionless void…

“I don't give a shit if he'll get over it or not. I need to talk to my best friend. Now let me go,” I told Kit firmly, looking him dead-on.

Kit looked ticked off, but he released me begrudgingly and I took off after Bash, praying like hell that he'd give me the chance to talk to him. After weeks of avoiding it, the reality slammed into me that all I needed in that moment, all I ever needed, was Bash by my side.

*****

As I burst through the front door of the frat house, I frantically looked around for any sign of him. I caught a flash of the red shirt he was wearing moving just past the front lawn and onto the street, and I took off after him.

“BASH!” I yelled to be heard over the music and party noises permeating the air around us. Bash didn't even break stride. He just kept walking like he hadn't heard me. I raced down the steps and onto the street to catch up with him.

When I reached him and grabbed for his arm, he tugged it out of my grip. “Leave me alone, M. I'm not in the fucking mood,” he said gruffly, his voice hoarse like he'd been screaming.

“BB, please talk to me! Don't walk away!” I begged him, the alcohol polluting my system making me shameless for his attention now.

“Oh, you mean like you've been doing for weeks?” Bash whirled on me, his eyes blazing with anger and…are those tears? Oh fuck, this is all my fault…

“I…I…” I stammered, no longer able to formulate a response because he was right. I'd been running for weeks, avoiding him and all of our problems. I had no right to make him talk to me now. “Bash, please…”

“Please what, M? What do you have to say to me? I have heard the bare minimum from you for a month, basically enough to let me know you're alive, and even when we saw each other, it was like you were somewhere else completely! You promised…youpromisedme that night that we were okay! That I wasn't going to fucking lose my best friend! What happened to that?” Bash barked at me, anguish clear on his features. “Why did you push me away?”

My head was spinning and I was desperate to get a grip on thesituation before it spun so far out of control there was no coming back from it. Tears cascaded down my face, the dam broken and bursting as every single feeling that I had been pushing down for weeks crashed into me full force.

“Bash…I'm so fucking sorry!” I sobbed, wretched with remorse. “I didn't mean to push you away, I just…I couldn't handle everything. It hurt! It hurt so fucking much and I didn't want to feel anything anymore!”

“You sure seemed to be feeling things in there just fine!” Bash snapped, grimacing like he was in physical pain. “What, is Kit the only one you need now? You have no more use for me? Are we even best friends anymore, M? We don't even need each other now?” he choked out.

That broke me. I had barely been able to remain standing with the sobs wracking my body, but his question had my knees buckling beneath me and I hit the ground. “Please don't say that…please, Bash…I'm so sorry…” I cried, hiccuping with the force of my tears.

“Shit…” Bash cursed, running over and falling to his knees next to me on the side of the street. His arms came around me, and my body flooded with warmth. It was both heaven and hell in a single touch, both ecstasy and agony. It was the sensation I tried so hard to convince myself I didn't need, but was as vital to me as the blood pumping through my veins.

Bash's embrace was the only thing that made me feel whole, untarnished by all the damage we had caused. His arms were slowly repairing the devastation that I had brought on myself with the distance I created.

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