Page 17 of Inevitable

“Bash, what…that doesn’t…when have I ever given you the impression that I would ever pull away from you? Have I not proven that you’re my ride or die more fucking times than I can count? You’ve been my number one and only best friend since I was fucking thirteen years old. It doesn’t stand to reason that I would pull away just because you decided to date someone,” I said incredulously. “It was also bound to happen eventually,” I added reluctantly.

Bash nodded along, but kept his eyes averted as he spoke. “I know that, M&M. I know it in my head, but my heart was telling me that the minute I told you about her, I’d lose you. You have no idea how much I cannot bear to lose you for any reason, M. I’d completely lose my way in life if I didn’t have you by my side.”

“I can understand that…I’d be terrified to lose you too, and I know what it’s like to have your heart play tricks on you, the cunning bastard,” I said half jokingly. After all, my heart continued to tell me that Bash could one day fall for me too, even though my head knew that it was a mathematical impossibility.

Bash’s lips kicked up in a small smirk that had my heart doing somersaults in my chest.Sweet Jesus alive, why does it feel so good to make him smile?

I continued on. “I just need you to tell me one more thing,” I stated, and Bash looked at me with apprehension drawn across his features.

“What?...”

I steeled myself to ask the question I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer to, but in for a penny, in for a pound I guess. “Is it serious with Ainsley? Is it going anywhere?”

Bash’s face drained slightly of color before he responded with, “Why does that matter?”

“It matters to me. Just tell me.”

Bash took an inordinately long time to answer me, and with each passing second, I felt pieces of my soul break off and crumble at my feet.

“My father had a hand in bringing us together,” he said slowly, his words heavy between us, “so yes, it’s serious.”

Just like that the pieces of the puzzle snapped together in my head, startling me with the magnitude of what he was implying. Ainsley was intended for him. His father had introduced them with the hopes that she’d become the future Mrs. Bastian Dupont because that’s exactly the kind of manipulative shit his father always did. That meant that Bash was tethered to Ainsley in ways that couldn’t be undone. I wanted to ask him if he actually fell for her, if he wanted to be with her regardless of his father’s expectations for the two of them.

However, that answer had the power to decimate what remained of my heart, so instead of asking him that, I nodded and gulped down the rest of my coffee.

I set the mug down on the table, and glanced back up at Bash.

“Okay. Thank you for telling me and being honest.”

Bash’s face was a mixture of relief and sadness as he sagged on the bar stool, and ran his hands through the short, tousled waves on top of his head. As always, my eyes latched onto the movement that made his biceps bulge subtly, and my dick perked up in my pants.

Okay look, traitor, we are not happy with him right now! Down, boy!

I turned around to rinse out my coffee cup and discreetly adjust myself to keep my surprise erection hidden from view. When I faced Bash again, he was watching me with a penetrating gaze that had me feeling hot under the collar and damn near squirming from the intensity.

For minutes, neither of us said anything. We simply sat in the tense silence and stared at each other, a whole conversation playing out between us without any words being uttered.

I’m so sorry I hurt you.

You know it’ll be difficult to trust you again.

I’ll do anything I can to make it up to you.

I don’t want to lose you.

I love you.

Okay, the last one only came from me, but the sentiment still held true even after all the shit of the last twenty-four hours. That was justthe effect Bash had on me, through the good and ugly times, no matter what hell we faced together, I would never stop loving him. As much as the thought churned my gut, I knew I needed to move on and find someone who could love me in return, but a piece of me would forever belong to Bash. He was the one my heart recognized as its other half. It didn’t matter if he didn’t feel the same–my heart would always be reaching out to his.

“M&M…are we okay?” Bash hesitantly asked me after several minutes of our silent exchange.

I thought back to the decision I had come to in the middle of the night while I was being tormented with the events of the day and unable to sleep. I just didn’t know how Bash would respond to it.

“Yeah, BB…we’re okay. I promise,” I reassured him, but as a heartened smile spread across his face, I decided to press on and tell him my plan. “But I need to tell you something too.”

Bash’s smile faltered and his eyebrows pinched together. “What is it, M?”

“I’ve decided to go spend the summer with my parents back home. I know that it’ll be harder to see them once school starts and I also think I need it…I think we need it.” I shared with him, unable to meet his eyes as I said it. I could sense the nervous energy emanating off of him.

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