I will her to do this on her own.
“I want to talk.”
Fuck.
If ever there was a moment in my life when I regretted what I wished for, then this is it. Never mind whether she’s ready to talk about her situation, I’m not. I don’t know how to tell her about the way the world works and I don’t have it in me to shatter her again.
“Please.”
Damn.
There’s got to be panic in my eyes. There’s sure as fuck panic in every other part of me. I need a goddamn drink and right now I’d take anything on offer. Even yak’s blood and that’s vile.
“Master?”
I’ve never felt less in control, and Ivy thinks this is her fault.
“I wanted to talk,” she says, mumbling. “About things. I…”
I swallow and decide to face this like a man, instead of the goddamn coward I’ve become. “Tell me, lea.”
She sinks her shoulders. “I’m confused.”
Fucking hell.
“I want to hate the things you do. That I do. I want to find them disgusting,” she confesses. “But I don’t. I don’t like that I don’t hate them. I’m confused and I know we’re married, but I don’t know what I feel…” Ivy drops her head and starts looking in any direction other than at me. “I think I want more. But I don’t know. I’m not sure if I can trust you.”
I smile and she exhales.
“You’re not disappointed?”
“No.”
I’m fucking relieved, but she doesn’t need to know.
“I’m glad you’ve told me. It’s a good thing, lea. You’re beginning to trust me. I promise I won’t hurt you.”
Her little body relaxes and it reminds me she’s hiding something too. She’s anticipated my reaction because she’s been conditioned to expect an outburst. Ivy might not understand everything I’ve done, but in time she’ll grasp its logic and realize I will never, ever hurt her out of malice.
For pleasure, yes.
For spite, fuck no.
“How much more do you want, lea?” I ask before I stop myself.
Her lips press together and she bites them. Her pulsequickens and I smell the desire pulsing through her. This is her. All her. I’m not pushing or using the binding to guide her. Ivy’s thinking about the things she wants me to do to her, and she’s turned on.
I’m fucking hard already.
She shifts her weight, noticing the blood flowing through her clit. It’ll make it swell and pulse, make her wet. Maybe she doesn’t understand what her body’s doing or she could be fighting it, but it’s getting harder to ignore.
As is the flush spreading up her neck and the flicker over her carotid.
“Can I find out?”
My cock twitches and she knows she’s got my attention. I nod and she smiles, turning ever so slightly redder as her pupils dilate a fraction. The color in her cheeks makes her eyes stand out and she’s going to look fucking stunning when she’s basking in the glow of the orgasms I’ll give her.
Her lips part and she sucks a stuttered breath in.