Page 57 of A Debt of Darkness

My jaw ticks and I take the reprimand on the chin.

“Did I hear what I think I heard?” Ryan asks.

I stare at him and make it clear that rather depends on what he thinks he heard. He glares back and closes the distance between us.

“Lea?”

I nod and they both raise their eyebrows.

“You’re calling her lea instead of pet?” Matt asks.

“Does she know what it means?” Ryan doesn’t miss a beat.

“Ivy reacts badly to pet. We found a mutually agreeable alternative,” I say, dismissively, as if it’s not the fucking massive deal it is. “I said I’d explain if she behaved. She hasn’t asked.”

They both run their hands through their hair and stare at me like I’m a complete and utter imbecile. Ryan shakes his head and Matt rubs his hand over his mouth and the three of us stand in silence until I head back to Ivy.

Matt grabs my shoulder. “Tell her, Henry. Keeping her in the dark isn’t protecting her. Not anymore.”

My head nods yes, but my instincts scream no. Ivy’s not ready and I can’t risk losing her, not now. Not when she’s only just accepted me. It’s too soon and she’ll be devastated. She’ll feel betrayed all over again and a little time to strengthen our connection won’t do any harm. We’ll both be better for it and I’ll understand her a little more, letting me break things to her in a way that won’t shock.

“I mean it,” Matt says.

I open the door and Ivy’s eyes meet mine. The last few minutes haven’t been easy for her. I’ve indulged Matt and Ryan for long enough, and now my mate needs my attention.

“So do I.” I close the door and end our conversation.

“What did you talk about?” she asks tentatively.

I reach for her and pull her against me. “They wanted to discuss my less-than-ideal behavior. When I nearly lost my shit because I thought you were in danger.”

Her eyes are a prism of hope and endurance, of truth and its consequence, and of the innocence I’m going to shatter. I can’t tell her. Not tonight. Not when she’s staring at me and she’s more than a little taken by my heroic but misplaced actions.

“Are you hurt?” she asks.

I blink, and she takes my hands, checking them for cuts and bruises. I’m too surprised to resist and her fingers brush my skin as she tries to ease pain she doesn’t know isn’t there.

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look it.”

I smile and she steps back, pulling me with her as she leads me to the sofa. We sit and lean, facing each other like a pair of lovesick teenagers, and she blushes as my gaze wandersover her. She’s too thin and she hasn’t regained the weight she lost, but her curves are still there. I could happily spend an eternity counting her freckles and I intend to memorize them as I explore her body properly.

“Are you hungry?”

Ivy shakes her head.

“Thirsty? Tired?”

She shakes her head and she bites her lip.

“Bored?”

She nods, but then shakes her head.

This is taking a while, and I don’t have enough fucking patience. I know she’s nervous and she’s figuring this out. But she’s been on the verge of asking me for something for two days and it’s driving me insane. It’s a step she won’t take and I’ve held off pushing her because I thought she’d do this on her own.

I want her to do this on her own.

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