Page 42 of A Debt of Darkness

The darkness carries me away and I drift on its mysterious currents. It won’t be the last time I sleep, but if I’m lucky, things will happen quickly. I should fear the dark’s cold and vicious grip, but I welcome it as it takes hold, hoping it’ll claim me.

Sharp pinpricks dart over my face and my eyes pop open. I move and stare as a rat scurries down my body, digging its little claws into me as it searches for something to eat. Something like me.

I pull back and scream, reacting now my brain’s woken up. It was sluggish but now I’m awake and my fear of rodents sends me spiraling. I shriek and back the fuck away, panicking as there’s nowhere to run, nowhere to go.

My heart pounds in my chest and my screams grow louder as the adrenaline pushes my body to its limit. I’m fucking terrified and the stupid little creature refuses to leave, scurrying around as it continues its search.

The door flies open and Henry charges in, grabbing the rat before I can even process what the fuck is happening. He turns, leaves and its shrieks stop as something clicks. I scream again and cover my ears with my hands, digging my nails into my scalp and hoping the pain will ground me. My eyes screw shut and my panic ignites, and seconds later, arms wrap around me.

“I’ve got you. You’re safe. Always safe.”

I scream and cry and thrash, and Henry holds me, refusing to let me go. I don’t want him to touch me and I don’t want him to let go. I’m finally safe and this feels like home. It’s warm, it’s comfortable. It’s everything I want and I sob, giving in to the relief sweeping through me.

He pulls me down with him as he sits and arranges me on his lap. My breathing quickens and he catches the change, immediately tightening his hold.

“You’re safe. It’s better. Everything’s better.” His arm moves down my back and starts to rub away the tension. “I’ve got you and I won’t let anything harm you. Never again.”

Henry pulls a blanket over me and tucks me underneath it. We stay like this and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to think. I’m too numb, too shocked, too damn broken tocare and I lie across his lap while he rubs my back and whispers I’m perfectly safe until I fall asleep again.

13

ANYTHING, JUST ASK

HENRY

We’re on the seventh day of what has been the worst fucking experience of my life. Ivy’s more willful than I thought and she won’t give in. She’s fucking clever too and she thinks she’s found a way to avoid the inevitable. She stopped eating on day three and it’s heartbreaking.

She’s wasting away in front of me—and it’s completely unnecessary.

Any other pet would have caved by now. They should have given in to my will and Ivy shouldn't be fighting me. This should have been fast and this never should have hurt her. It shouldn't have hurt me either, and I'm left contemplating another decision I wish I hadn't made.

Ryan and Matt watch me, expecting an outburst. We all thought she’d give in by now and her defiance isn’t helping. Ryan’s concerned and Matt’s worried, and both seem to haveforgiven her for attacking Matt.

“This has to end, Henry,” Matt says, carefully.

My eyebrow arches.

“She’s in agony,” he says, staring me down and refusing to budge. “You can’t leave her like this. It isn’t working.”

Ryan’s eyes flash a desperate plea for me to see reason. My second leans forward and I know that look. It means he thinks I’ve gone too far. He thinks I’ve made a mistake. He’s going to risk crossing me because he thinks it’s too damn dangerous not to.

Fuck.

“Matt’s right, Henry. Ivy’s hurting herself and if this carries on for much longer, she’s at genuine risk of harm. She’s barely drunk in days and she hasn’t eaten. Find another way.”

My jaw ticks and I watch the damn video stream. She’s lying on the straw, underneath a blanket that’s beneath her. She deserves better. She should be somewhere better. She’s subjecting herself to this and it’s breaking my heart.

“You need to make your fucking mind up,” I hiss at Ryan. He wanted me to be kind when she first arrived, and I followed his advice. After our binding, he couldn’t understand why I was being so tolerant, and he was downright murderous after Ivy attacked Matt. Ryan was demanding her blood and now he wants me to stop.

He’s wrong. All it would do is teach Ivy that her stubbornness can be weaponized. It would make things worse, not better. She’d learn she can win.

“She’s terrified, Henry,” he says slowly. “You threw my advice out the window when you made food an issue. She was never going to trust you after that. You committed yourself to taking the harder road but wouldn’t follow through.”

Matt crosses his arms and nods, agreeing with hispartner. I bet the pair of them have discussed this, and I fucking hate the way they’re playing this. The whole damn mess is as much Ivy’s fault as mine, and the pair of them are at least partly to blame.

“She isn’t just a pet,” Matt says and Ryan sends him a look that suggests they’d agreed not to discuss this. “She’s your mate, Henry. Your equal. She’s brave, determined, and she’s telling you where her boundaries are. You’ll get further if you stop trampling all over them and start listening to her.”

I bang my fist on the table. Ryan reacts and Matt doesn’t. The amber in his eyes burns brighter and I’m about to receive a lecture I don’t want to hear.

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