Page 48 of Wes

Hours later, I wake up to Maria’s ass rubbing my cock. The hungry beast is hard as steel. My fingers were unconsciously holding her breast. I glide that hand down to her belly. It quivers under my palm as she groans and bumps her ass hard on my crotch.

Encouraged, I run a finger along her folds and frown. She’s pressing her thighs together and her sex is dry as sandpaper. Pricking up my ears, I realize her moans sound more like whimpers.

A gut-wrenching shriek pierces the room and I bolt upright.

Eyes shut tight, Maria punches and kicks the empty bed in front of her as she shouts at the top of her lungs, “No! No! Stop! You’re killing him. Ken!”

I pull her up to sit on the bed, holding her to me, whispering in her ear, “I’ve got you. The nightmare’s over. I’m here.”

Her eyes fly open but remain unfocused. I cradle her head against my shoulder, fighting tears. It breaks my heart to see the anguish on her face. It pains my soul not knowing what caused it or how to fix it.

She digs her fingers into my back for a hot second before she shoves me away.

Slapping both hands on my chest, she yells, “Get away from me.”

“Honey, what’s the matter with you?” Her blank stare bounces around the room. It’s clear she doesn’t know what’s going on. I grip her upper arms and shake her lightly to break the hold her demons have on her. I murmur, “Hey, love. It’s me. Talk to me, Maria.”

She blinks a few times and gasps when her eyes focus on mine. Her fingers cover her half-open mouth. “God, what have I done?”

Her teary eyes and strangled whisper throw me for a loop. “Sweetheart, what’s going on?”

Shaking her head, she wriggles to escape my hands. Not wanting to bruise her, I let her go. But my heart weighs like a ten-ton boulder as I watch her retreat to lean against the headboard and pull the covers to her chin as if she needs to shield herself.

“Please, go. I can’t handle you right now.”

Her words slash my chest open.

I take a few beats to process them. “I can’t leave you like this. We’ve got to talk.”

Tears roll down her cheeks as she murmurs, “I’ll be okay. Just need time away from you.” Her voice breaks and she bites a fisted hand.

Unable to understand and unwilling to bail on her, when she clearly needs help, I lift my chin up and grit my teeth. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Fine. I’ll go, then,” she huffs, bunching the sheet around herself.

I push off the bed and stand to my feet. “God, you’re stubborn,” I grumpily whisper as I do her bidding. I pick my clothes from the floor and head to the sitting area. At the doorway, I look over my shoulder. The set line of her jaw tells me all I need to know for now. “This isn’t over.” With a deep inhale, I sigh, spin around to face her, and play my last card. “I meant what I said earlier. I love you.”

She shakes her head, waving a hand in front of her. “Just go.”

I close the bedroom door behind me, putting the clothes back on. My throat aches with every breath I take as I step out into the hall. I slump against the door, sliding to the floor. I’ll respect her wish, but I can’t leave.

What the fuck has just happened? What am I supposed to do now?

17

MARIA

Ihug a pillow, bury my head in it, and scream my frustration, anger, and pain. It clears the way for the waterworks, so I flop on the bed on my stomach, sobbing into the sheets until the well dries out.

My head weighs a ton, and my eyes prick when I roll onto my back and stare up. The subdue light from the spots lining the ceiling hurts my eyes, so I shield them throwing an arm across my face.

“Fuck!” I groan. “I’ve messed up.”

My heart breaks remembering Wes’s expression as I shooed him out.

Guess I’ll call Dr. Abbess. If this isn’t an emergency, I don’t know what is.

I shake my head at that thought. I know exactly what she’ll say because we’ve been covering the subject in our recent sessions. I should have come cleaned with Wes about my past a long time ago. Now, I feel guilty for having hidden things from him and do stupid things like driving him away.

---