Page 63 of My Heart to Find

“I’m just not getting called for any interviews,” she says down the phone. Her voice is a little staticky as the reception’s not good. “It’s like no one’s even willing to give me longer than it takes for them to delete my application or whatever. Sorry—I shouldn’t be complaining. You’re the one with the real problems.”

I hate my illness—my life—being described as a problem.

“It’s fine,” I say.

“No,” she says. “Look, Damien and I were thinking about it all—”

“You talked to Damien about this?” My eyes widen. How much has she told him? Did Jana tell him I get hallucinations? Is that why he decided to stay with her rather than start something with me? Was that what tipped him over the edge, had him scurrying away from me, regretting that he’d ever spoken to me about our feelings and everything?

“Of course,” Jana says. “He’s really concerned. But, yeah, we wanted to get the okay from you on something. Like, fundraising—we thought we could get a group of us together and try and raise the money for you to see this new doctor. And you could set up a GoFundMe page too.”

“I don’t want everyone knowing,” I say. “I’ll just lose friends.”

“Hey.” Her voice is sharp. “You’ve not lost me.”

“Yeah, but you know what River thinks about all this—and the more people I tell, the more people like her I’m going to encounter. There’s already enough people being mean online.” I think of the comments of how ‘boring’ I am.

Jana makes a considering noise. “But you do need this treatment. Damien and I have been looking into it more. The Bartonella stuff and the IV antibiotics. And this new doctor has a really great reputation. He’s been able to nearly get rid of OCD via the IV treatment before. We’ve got to find some way to get you this help.” She clears her throat. “We will.”

“I can’t tell everyone about it though,” I say. “And if I set up a GoFundMe...it’s just going to be awkward. Me asking for money.”

“I can set it up,” she says. “I’ll do it for you, okay? We’re going to get you better.”

CHAPTER THIRTY

Jana

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Help my friend get the life-saving treatment she needs – organized by Jana Hargreaves.

Hello everyone, my name is Jana, and I’m trying to raise money for my best friend, Cara. Three years ago, Cara caught Lyme disease after being bitten by a tick. The NHS treatment isn’t sufficient, and they’re unable to treat the brain inflammation that this has caused, so we’re having to turn to private treatment. Obviously, this is very expensive—but it will be life-saving. Without it, Cara will likely get worse. She’s already extremely ill from this.

Cara is an amazing person, and she really deserves this treatment. She’s always been there for me, and now we need to be there for her.

If you can spare anything, we’d all be so grateful?

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