Page 26 of With This Lie

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I hear my mother’s voice at the front door and open my eyes. She’s standing there staring at me and this man and I freeze.

“Oh hey, Charlotte. I was just sampling the menu. I think I want this fresh meat here,” he says, looking toward my mother.

“That’s not going to happen. You should leave now,” she says. Her voice is calm but stern.

He looks at her, confusion and defiance in his eyes. “I’ll pay extra,” he says.

“Fuck you,” she says.

“Listen here, you whore, this is what I want, and this is what I’m going to get. It’s not like there’s anything you can do about it,” he screams back at her.

“There’s plenty I can do,” she says. She sits the bags down and closes the door behind her. I watch as she walks to the bookshelf between the kitchen and living room.

“Oh what, you gonna call the cops? We both know you’re not gonna do shit,” he says.

Right then, my mother looks me in the eyes. “Everything is going to be all right, princess. Okay? I want you to go to your room and get in your castle, okay?” she says to me.

I nod and he lets go of my wrist.

“I’ll see you in a minute,” he says to me.

And I run from him. I close my bedroom door behind me and run into my closet. I close that door too and flick on my flashlight. I don’t hear anything at first. It’s quiet and all I can do is wait. After a few minutes, I hear their voices getting loud again but I can’t make out what they’re saying. I hear one thud, and then another. I hear a glass break and I jump. I reach for the closet knob and stop myself. I know the rule. Wait for her. Always wait for her.

I hear another glass shatter and then I hear him scream. I don’t know what to do. My body won’t move even when I urge it to. Fear has consumed me. I push myself far into the back corner of the closet and the noises continue. Then everything grows quiet and I wait. I hear sirens outside next and a few more crashes and then everything is silent again. I hear the front door bang open and more yelling. It’s quiet again and I’m still waiting. This pattern of quiet and loud, quiet and loud has my nerves in shambles. I don’t know how much time has gone by. I close my eyes and wait some more.

My bedroom door opens gently, and I hear footsteps approach the closet door. They pause and I hear someone touch the knob. I flick the flashlight off and try to make myself as small as I can. The door opens and I see it isn’t my mother.

“Hi there,” a woman’s voice says. “Can you come out?”

I don’t answer and I don’t move. She puts her hand out for me, inviting me.

“Where’s my mom?” I ask but she doesn’t answer.

“We should get you out of here first, then we can talk okay?” the kind but strange voice says.

I hesitate but finally take her hand. She wraps a blanket around me and walks me out of my room.

Everything is broken. There’s broken glass everywhere and chairs are toppled over. A police officer tries to shield my face, but I see it.

There on the floor right in front of the bookshelf where my mother was standing is a mess of blood. Next to it, there’s a body underneath a sheet. There’s a knife across the floor, a trail of blood between the body and the blade. I begin to cry, and the officer takes me into her arms, and carries me out as fast as she can.

All I see now are the blue lights swirling. I hear people talking but their voices are in a fog around me. They put me in the back of a car and a lady sits with me. She is telling me that everything will be all right, but I know she’s lying.

I know nothing will ever be the same.

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