Page 43 of With This Lie

Dani: Lucas?

Me: Dani? Where are you? I’m at your door.

Dani: Oh thank god, I’ll be there in a second.

Her voice sounds shaky and I’m worried. She opens the door and we both put our phones away. She throws her arms around me and her entire body is shaking.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, concerned something terrible has happened.

“Someone was trying to get into my apartment,” she says.

“When?” I ask, panic in my voice.

“Just a few minutes ago.”

“I didn’t see anyone when I came up, they must’ve have gone quickly,” I say.

“I don’t know, I panicked and ran to my closet. They were saying my name through the door but they were disguising it on purpose. It really freaked me out,” she says, clearly worried.

“Did you call the cops?” I ask.

“No,” she says, putting her head down.

“Why not?” I ask, surprised.

“They took me away that night. All I remember are the blue lights. Cops frighten me and the blue lights trigger me. It’s not their fault,” she says.

I rub her back and pull her closer to me. I try to be understanding. “They’re just doing their job. They’re just here to help,” I say, reassuring.

“I know.”

“Promise me you will call them if something else happens,” I say.

She hesitates and doesn’t say anything.

“Promise me, Dani,” I say to her.

“I promise,” she finally says.

I hug her for a long time and try my best to calm her. “I’ll run you a bath if you want,” I say.

“No, I’m okay, really. Let’s just go to bed,” she says. She gets up from the couch and goes to the bedroom.

I pull my shoes off and strip down to my briefs. I watch her pull her shirt off and then her pants. Her hair falls just below her shoulders and brushes over her back. The tattoo on her thigh begs to be traced. I don’t know why but, in this moment, I see her complete vulnerability, her delicate state of being. I watch her tuck her hair behind her ear. In this moment, I know I love her and I know we are destined to hurt each other. I regret everything, and nothing. I crawl into bed next to her and she looks up at me with a sweet smile. I kiss her lips and wrap my arms around her. I hold her tight, as tight as I can. One day I will have to let go, but today is not that day.

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